I Love White People...

That's right. God bless each one of them. Why? Because they make me smile. In fact my weekend was full of white people who made me laugh and laughter is good for the soul.

Saturday morning I went to the DMV in Alexandria, VA. If you don't know Alexandria is a pretty affluent community and so a lot of the white people out there live far above middle class status.

So I get to the DMV and it's packed. So packed in fact that they aren't letting people inside. You see the DMV decided that although they have 20 windows inside that they'd only ask 4 people to work on the busiest day of the week for them. Yep 4. 3 with attitudes so bad that they ask for 13 different forms of picture i.d. before they will even talk to you and 1 who is a trainee. Maybe I'm exaggerating, maybe I'm not but here's an idea for any terrorists out there. The next time you decide to prove a point to Americans, blow up all the DMV's. Seriously. People that work there don't matter because they don't have families. I mean who could love someone who works at the DMV?! And the customers are so fed up that most of them are about 3 seconds from blowing their own brains out. It's a win/win situation if you ask me. But I digress.

So there is a line outside of the DMV about 15 people long when I got there and quickly grew to about 35 to 40 in minutes. On top of all this it's freezing outside. Here's how you make torture fun. I started to notice that every white person no matter if they were young or old, male or female would walk right past everybody in line without asking if there was a reason for us standing outside and go for the door handle. When they couldn't get in they would then ask "Is this the line to get in?" Hilarious. Now when I say every white person did it I am not exaggerating. 100% all did the same thing. And after they were told that was the line they all just exploded. "I'm going to write a letter!" or "They expect us to stand out in the cold? This is ridiculous". It got so good that I ask the guy next to me if he noticed that the black people and the hispanics would all walk up and ask someone in line what was up and that the white people just assumed that they didn't have to stand in line. We got a huge kick out of it and a white guy about 2 people down got in on it too. We got way too excited every time a white person would get out of the car. There we were hoping and praying that some sensible caucasian wouldn't break the streak and I am glad to announce that none of them did. It was great.

When I finally got inside the DMV there were 2 black guys from Baltimore talking very loudly calling each other nigga over and over and cursing loudly despite the large amount of kids in the building. They were completely embarrassing. All of us normal black people that know how to act in public were just staring them down and of course the white people were all huddled in the corner furthest away from the losers. At any rate I learned two things from my visit to the DMV. White people for the most part feel like they are somehow above certain things and black people from Baltimore are ignorant. Ok so maybe neither of these statements are true but if someone with a weaker mind than myself had noticed what I witnessed they could've made a case for both statements. What am I getting at? I'm not sure...let's move on.

I went to a club that would be considered a "white club" simply because it was a majority of white people there. They played a variety of music so it was cool. White girls are great. They just dance and dance and it's like they are in another world. They were taking off their shirts and dancing on tables and what not. I got grabbed by a couple of them and pulled onto the dance floor as they tried their best to shake their little bootys. I would stand there with my Hennessey and Coke as the twisted and turned in what almost seemed like seizures. They even had me singing some song about "pouring sugar on me. It wasn't Jay-Z but it was cool. I think I'll go back. So as you see white people contributed to my weekend being fun and since I've received about 2000 emails asking me why I hate white people I am glad that I can say I LOVE WHITE PEOPLE!!!