Random Thought Friday...

Look at the smiles on their faces! Drea just dropped her coffee. Georgia Peach is giggling at her desk and Grant just released one of the hostages. That's right bitches it's RANDOM THOUGHT FRIDAY!!!

If you're new to the spot let me explain. Once upon a time I was just a normal blogger much like yourself but then I did a post that rocked a nation. Yes I shook up the world! And I'm pretty! I'm a bad man! Ok you should've read those last three sentences in your best Muhammad Ali voice. Anyway Random Thought Friday is the one time during the week that you get to see the inner workings of your King's mind. Yes I know you're very excited but you have to calm down. You don't want your next job application to look like this......REASON FOR LEAVING: Jumped on my desk and did a little jig in celebration of Random Thoght Friday. Now would you hire that person? Yeah me too. So anyway buckle up and get ready for what Bill O'reilly called "A colossal waste of time...." and what 4 out of 5 doctors prescribe for sleep. Ladies and gentleman.....RANDOM THOUGHT FRIDAY!!!

I watch Dancing with the Stars. There I said it.

I have a thing for news women.

When blogger and Gmail were tripping yesterday I started looking for a telephone number for the Google people. I mean why would they toy with my emotions like that?!

What's up with these wrestling boots I've seen all these girls wearing? That's not attractive. Whenever I see them I am tempted to grab the chick and put her in the sleeper hold.

I'm going to try to get a picture of this woman here at work for yall but I swear she has to lift up her ta ta's to put her belt on!

How odd is it that yesterday I promised more focus and my first post after that is a Random Thought Friday?

I always heard if you have sex with an old person they will give you worms. Anybody know for sure?

Oh and have any of you ladies ever put period blood in a man's food to make him fall madly in love with you?

I don't eat anything red cooked by a woman. Nope not even red Kool Aid.

In the second meeting I was forced to go to yesterday my boss went on and on about who knows what. I was trying my best not to fall asleep. Then when she's done she says "Ddot do you have anything you wanna add?" It seemed like an hour before I responded. The first thought that came into my head was to say "Man I don't even know what this meeting is about. I don't know half of these people's names. I'm here to catch some Z's!!!" But my brain wouldn't allow that. My second thought was to say "Yeah I do. Everybody check out my blog in your free time!" Ultimately I said "No I think you covered everything."

The lady that sits behind me has a pretty good idea that I don't actually work. On Monday she's walking past my desk and says some slick stuff like "Looks like you're busy as usual." But as she said it her foot hit the carpet the wrong way and she tripped. Who was in heaven? ME! LMAO! Man it's the little things in life ya know?!

I am boycotting Sanaa Lathan's new movie. Not because I'm a racist or anything but....well....ok maybe I am a little racists when it comes to black women dating white men. See at least I can be honest. As for white women and black men? Well now that's different!

I think I want to go to Turks & Caicos for vacation this year.

Let me tell you how important I am around here. There's only one other black man in the office and he's from Cameroon. His name is Nico. Half the people in the office call me Nico and the other half call me Daryl. My name is not Daryl goddamnit!!!

Why does the new Tyrese movie look like it's going to be a updated version of An Officer and a Gentleman? And how did Tyrese get the role of the trainer/Seargent or whatever? Shouldn't Denzel or somebody older be playing that part. Maybe it was because he looks like he could be Lou Gossett Junior's son.

The lady that sits beside me is the real life 40 year old virgin. She's really sweet and very naive. It's like talking to a 12 year old sometimes. She's kind of cute though. I would love to corrupt her if you know what I mean! Unfortunately I'm pretty sure she still calls black people "colored" when we're not around.

Ok I think all of yall need to get rid of word verification thing. I haven't gotten a spam in my comments section in forever. Not only that but sometimes those letters run together and you have no idea what they are. It's just irritating.

I'm almost as addicted to watching who's on my blog and how long they stay and what they read as I am with my actual blog. It bewilders me why people who claim not to like me keep coming back! And I don't mean people like Jackie who acts like she doesn't like me but people who have told me that they don't like me. One of them actually told me that they like an inanimate object more than me. Man I really want to tell that story but it's a waste of time. Maybe one day though.

It is better to take a dump in the woods and don't wipe than to poop on yourself. Someone actually tried to convince me of the opposite! Yep that's the types of conversations I get into.

With my millions of readers I am sure that someone has a connection with the L.A. Lakers. Look I am willing to do just about anything if we can get the whole team to not pass Kobe the ball for an entire game. Oh yeah that reminds me....I hate Kobe. Gotta say that at least once a day. I feel better now.

Women are odd. Ever since I told these women at work that a woman's place is in the kitchen and caused this big uproar I swear they seem to want me even more. I know what you're thinking. "But D doesn't everybody want you anyway?!" And if you're thinking that yes my child you are correct.

It's time to update The Dynasty and The Commission. For all you lurkers out there this is your chance to hit the big time! All you gotta do is convince me that you're worthy. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm an asshole. Everybody knows that but if you want to make the list get busy.

Ok That's enough of this crap. Hey I've decided to take you jerks ideas to heart. I will do the "Ask The King a Question" post. But you guys really need to come up with some good questions. So email me the questions and make sure that they are good please! Don't bore me to death with "What was the first movie you went to see?" type questions.

Ok it's Friday baby! Everybody have a good weekend and whatever you do, do it safely and peacefully.

THE KING HAS SPOKEN!!!