Black Stacey

I first heard Saul Williams perform Black Stacey on a MTV2 commercial. They only played a piece of it but I was absolutely mesmerized. It was like he had found one of my notebooks from the 7th grade and was letting the world into my inner thoughts. He spit this rhyme/poem so passionately that you could hear the frustration and feel his pain. You could feel my pain. A few weeks ago I did a post about the differences in being a dark skinned black person as opposed to being a light skinned black person in America and since it was so popular I thought I'd share this rhyme/poem by Saul Williams with you guys. I hope you will enjoy it.


BLACK STACEY
I used to hump my pillow at night.
The type of silent prayer to help myself prepare for the light.
Me and my cousin Duce would rank the girls between one and ten
and the highest number got to be my pillows pretend.
Now I apologize to every high ranker.
But you taught me how to dream and so I also thank you.
I never had the courage to approach you at school.
We joked around a lot and I know you thought I dressed cool.
But I was just covering up all the insecurities that came bubbling up.
My complexion had
me stuck in an emotional rut, 'like the time you Flavor Flaved me and you called me
"Yo Chuck, they say
you're too black, man".
I think I'm too black.
Mom, do you think I'm too black? I think I'm too black.

Black Stacey.
They called me Black Stacey.
I never got to be myself 'cause to
myself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dots
and paisley, a double goose
and bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me.
I was Black Stacey.
the preachers' son from Haiti
who rhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party.
I was Black Stacey.
you thought it wouldn't phase me, but it did 'cause I was just a kid.

I used to use bleaching creme, 'til Madame CJ Walker walked into my dreams.
I dreamt of being white and
complimented by you, but the only shiny black thing that you liked was my shoes.
Now, I apologize for bottling up
all the little things you said that warped my head and my gut.
Even though I always told you
not to brag about the fact that your great grandmother
was raped by her slave master.
Yeah, I became militant too.
So it was clear on every level I was blacker than you.
I turned you on to Malcolm X
and Assata Shakur in my three quarter elephant goose with the fur.
I had the high top fade
with the steps on the side.
I had the two finger ring, rag top on the ride.
I had the sheep skin, namebelt,
Lee suit, Kangol, acid wash Vasco, chicken and waffle.

Black Stacey.
They called me Black Stacey.
I never got to be myself 'cause to myself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dots
and paisley, a double goose and bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me.
I was Black Stacey.
the preachers' son from Haiti
who rhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party.
I was Black Stacey. You thought it wouldn't phase me, but it did 'cause I was just a kid.
Now here's a little message for you.
All you baller playa's got some insecurities too,
that you could cover up, bling it up, cash in and ching ching it up,
hope no one will bring it up, lock it down and string it up.
Or you can share your essence with us,
'cause everything about you couldn't be rugged and ruff.
And even though you tote a glock
and you're hot on the streets, if you dare to share your heart,
we'll nod our heart to its beat.
And you should do that, if nothing else,
to prove that a player like you could keep it honest and true.
Don't mean to call your bluff but mothafucka that's what I do.
You got platinum chain then, son, I'm probably talking to you.
And you can call your gang, your posse and the rest of your crew.
And while you're at it get them addicts and the indigent too.
I plan to have a whole army by the time that I'm through
to load their guns with songs they haven't sung.