That Day....

DNA sucks. Now don't get me wrong I watch CSI so I know how beneficial DNA is in solving crimes. I'm also well aware that through DNA testing a lot of men on Death Row have been cleared of any wrong doing. So you see I think that for the most part being able to use DNA is the great thing. It just hasn't been all that great to me.

Ok before I lose all of yall let me explain. On July 9, 1997 my daughter was born. It was absolutely the happiest day of my life. I named her Jordan Alexis and I would love to tell you guys that it had something to do with the Jordan river but it was simply because I am quite possibly the biggest Michael Jordan fan on the face of the Earth. Anyway so there I was in the hospital holding my little bundle of joy. Nobody but the Doc had laid their hands on her before me. The absolute best feeling I've ever felt.

Well after the naming of my babygirl was official there was a little bit of drama. My daughter's grandparents(my baby's mama's mama) were upset because the young Princess had THE KING's last name! I was in such a state of happiness that a lot of the things going on just went over my head. Thinking about them now I should've caught on but I digress. I heard the new granparents scolding my girl saying and I quote "Why would you give her HIS last name? What if he decides he doesn't want to take care of her later on?! Then it's going to be an issue and she's going to be stuck with THAT last name!" HUH? Why wouldn't I want to take care of her? I'm not one of those type dudes! I handle mine! of course I didn't say any of that to them I just walked out the room and counted to what seemed like 1 million before calming down and once again basking in the joy of what was my babygirl.

A few months later after going to court to secure my visitation and agreeing to drop $366.00 bucks a month for child support and providing insurance everything was copasetic. Although Jordan's mom and I were no longer together I was basking in my new found sexiness, I had a good job, a new car and more women than you could shake a stick at. What does that saying mean anyway? More than you can shake a stick at? Ok I'm rambling. Anyway life was good and for the next 3 years I really couldn't complain.

On a saturday morning after picking up J-Boog, as I now referred to her, we stopped by my parent's house and my mom was in rare form. "I'm not sure who this child looks like Derriman(yes that's what my mom calls me and no you can't call me that) but she gets prettier and prettier every time I see her." "C'mon Ma, I'm man pretty! That's where she gets it from!" This wasn't the first time my mother had hinted or down right came out and said THAT BABY AIN'T YOURS! It irked me so bad! Don't ruin the one thing that make me so happy. I know she wasn't TRYING to ruin it but she had been and the anger had built up so much that it was the first time I actually disrespected my mother. "Are you ever going to stop saying that?! I'm so sick and tired of hearing that everytime I come here!" I know on a lot of people's disrepect meters this doesn't rate very high but I'm a self confessed mama's boy so this was pretty bad for me.

I loaded up the Princess and we rolled out. On the way to the crib I passed a place called LabCorp where they do DNA testing. I figured if I could just get a test done I could end all that nonsense that my mother and sisters had been saying repeatedly for the past 3 years. It cost me a little over 600 hundred bucks. No problem. We took the test and went on to have a good day and I dropped my baby off at home. That would be the last time I would see her for the next 3 years.

About a week after the test was taken I received a large envelope in the mail. It was from Labcorp. Finally all the proof I would need to shut everybody up! I opened the package anxiously much like a child who has just received a wrapped present. I read a bunch things that seemed to be just letters to get to the bottom of the page....it is concluded, for all practical purposes, in reference to the submitted samples, that there is a 0% probability that Ddot is the biological father of Jordan Alexis. Therefore, THE KING is excluded as the possible biological father of Jordan Alexis.

My heart sunk. I can't even describe the feeling but I know I got it again as I typed the last sentence in the above paragraph. It couldn't be true! It HAD to be a mistake. I must've read that report 150 times. And everytime it said the same thing and everytime I felt I lost another part of me. Up until that point I had never understood people saying "I smoke/drink to get away from my problems." Now I understood and let's just say I tried my best to get away from it all. When I informed her mother of the test results she just kind of blew it off and said "Well I guess I have to get her name changed now." That was it. That was all she had to say to me after raising my daughter for 3 years! Now I do not advocate hitting women but...let's just say I can understand. I was not allowed to see my daughter or even call her after that day.

3 years later I saw Jordan and her mother in the mall and they were doing school shopping. My baby was heading to Kindergarten. I felt so robbed. It was so unfair. I thought that I had lost them in the mall when a young child darted out into my path and almost made me trip. "Oops! Excuse me sir!" she said as she looked up at me. And for a split second there seemed to be some type of recognition. There was a look on her face almost like 'don't I know you from somewhere'. Her mother grabbed her hand and pulled her away quickly. Excuse me sir. Never had a simple statement made me so happy and so sad at the same time. I was so happy to see her and to hear her little voice but at the same time she had no clue who I was. I haven't seen her since but I always hope that in the back of her mind that there is a picture of a man's face that she feels as if she knows and is always there to protect her even if she's not sure who he is.

So anyway right after I found out that biologically she wasn't my daughter I wrote a poem/rap thingamajig about it all. I am no writer but I thought that I would post it and see what you guys think. Enjoy.

In my life for two years before I lost ya
Loved you more than life because you were my daughter
But in the blink of an eye you were taken away
No you didn't die
It was just the results of the DNA
They took you away from me
I lost my daughter/you lost your daddy
Some say "If you loved her, why did you invest in the test
I explain like this
Of course I love her but it's only logical
For her to have the right to know if I'm her biological
That's only fair, I mean her mama knew
But I guess her mama didn't care
But they can never break the bond that we share
I hope that you end up happy
And remember no matter what I'll ALWAYS BE DADDY
I'm sure you'll grown up and be just fine
I'm FOREVER yours and you will ALWAYS BE MINE

I know it's kind of sappy and probably doesn't read anything like I hear it in my own head but it was the best I could do at the time. I'll be pompous and arrogant again tomorrow but for now thanks for listening.