Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Random Thoughts...

So I've been getting a lot of feed back from folks that are worried that my rants on good ol' GWB are going to get Homeland Security busting down my door. So today I guess I'll just give you some of the crazy random thoughts that pop into my head throughout the day. Enjoy.

If I were to describe a business where a group of men used fake names, spoke words (mostly written before hand) into a microphone, and got into fake fights for entertainment purposes, what would I be talking about? Pro wrestling or the rap music industry?

And while I'm on the subject, is there anyone in the country who could NOT have a hit rap single at this point? I'm convinced that someone could take Garrett Morris' rendition of "I'm going to get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see" from the early years of Saturday Night Live, place it against a hip hop beat, and have Little John (er... Lil' John) scream along in the background and it would end up as the #1 rap single in the country. White kids all over would be tripping over their baggy pants to buy it without the least bit of irony.

Whatever happened to Smilez and Southstar? Wait. Never mind.

If a guy ever calls his girlfriend "baby" and she's not around to hear it, then on a scale of 1 to 10, he's a 15 for being whipped.

I wonder if the guy from Digital Underground who sang "Humpty Dance" actually did get "busy in a Burger King Bathroom." Think about it, those are the nastiest bathrooms in the fast food business. I don't think I want a girl that enjoys that.

Whenever I tell people that I was never allowed to trick-or-treat when I was younger, they always look at me like someone just died...I mean, basically it boils down to people dressing up to be people they're really not, and walking around in groups trying to get people to give them "treats"...sounds like a typical trip to a nightclub.

My gun shot wound is killing me!

You're not drunk unless you're lying on the floor holding on.

The Cowboys Suck.

I have become addicted to reality shows.

Hello my name is THE KING and I am a comment junkie.

Are my random thoughts really better than my political rants?

Why couldn't I see how corny Saved By the Bell was when I watched all during High School?

Why do I still love Saved by the Bell?

After all the cheating and divorces when do we realize that there HAS to be something wrong with Halle Berry. It just HAS to be!

Do porn stars dread going to work like everybody else?

Why does Mike Jones think we want to hear his name over and over?

I'm THE KING! Who? THE KING! Who? THE KING! Who? THE KING!

Ok I get it now.

A man walks up to you and says - "everything I say to you is a lie."Is he telling you the truth or is he lying?

Who was worse during the BET telethon, Choppa for flashing his iced out grill seconds after saying that he lost his grandmother or the intolerable banter between Queen latifah and Steve Harvey?

Today is the anniversary of Tupac's death. If he were still alive how many rappers would be working at McDonalds right now?

Do the people who read my blog think I hate white people?

If Andy Milonakis can have a show shouldn't THE KING have a show?

I got peas on my head but don't call me a peahead!

Who decided on CTRL, ALT, & DELETE? Why not three keys that are right beside each other?

My page views have finally caught up to my profile views. Does this mean I'm more than just a pretty face now?!

When they do the movie about my life somebody please make sure they call it Sexual Chocolate: The Life and Times of The KING!

Ok that's enough. Stay tuned my friends this is the new season of MY KINGDOM. No reruns allowed! Next up are my thoughts on discrimination within the African American community. That's right friends the old Light v. Dark thing. I'm sure that will stir up some emotion even from our white friends.

31 comments:

Danielle said...

YEAA!! THE COWBOYS DO SUCK!!!

Danielle said...

HE LIKES ME AND IM WHITE! LOL

Ddot the King said...

Of course I knew you were white stac! But I like you anyway! LOL! Now go watch Nude Africa! Hilarious!

Ddot the King said...

I'm glad you agree D but if you're an Eagles fan I hope that you know they suck too! Danielle you're white?! :)

Danielle said...

NAW WE ALL KOW I AM BLACK AT HEART. LOL

Zube said...

Hey there! Thanks for the great compliment on my blog. :-)

Heh. Now I'M going to be wondering about that Humpty Dance guy. As though I didn't have enough random stuff bouncing around my head. The two brain cells I've got left in there are feeling all overwhelmed and stuff. Poor things. It's a shame I killed the rest.

Anywho, rant on about GW all you like. My neck hurts from nodding in agreement to your last post.

Ddot the King said...

ZG I meant it. You're one funny chica! I'm glad you enjoyed yourself over here. Please feel free to come back!

Shelia said...

Thanks for stopping by my website earlier. I really like your site. I've found me a new place to come hang out :).

Drea Inspired said...

Your random thoughts are hee-darn-larious. I too still LOVE Saved by the Bell. Of course, I'm a sitcom re-run junkie. A Different World and Living Single are all I need in television!

Question: Today is the anniversary of Tupac's death. If he were still alive how many rappers would be working at McDonalds right now?

Answer: Half of the mofo's out today! And the other half would be cleaning those nasty Burger King bathrooms!

Leesa said...

ddot: Not that I am a techie, but I had often wondered about CTRL, ALT, & DELETE. I just googled it, and it turns out that "the only keystroke combination that wasn't already being used by a shipping application was control-alt-del".

By the way, I loved your rant today.

Asi said...

hahahha I love the burger king and the trick or treat one. :big thumbsup:

Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting on my poetry. :) Hopefully i'll be back to read more :)

Drea Inspired said...

btw, when I read "Sexual Chocolate: the life and times of the king", I fell over laughing thinking about Coming to America...[ROFLMAO...straigtening up clearing my throat,and bowing to my king]:)

Ddot the King said...

Sheila- You're a real writer!

Leesa- Thanks for the knowledge! You are my number 1 researcher! :)

Asi- Thanks I hope you will come back a lot!

BrownSoul- I am glad I'm not the only one hooked on old shows! And you answered the Tupac Question perfectly. Ja Rule who? ROFL!

Oh and I'm glad you got the "sexual chocolate" reference! Anyone who doesn't know where that came from is no longer welcomed here in MY KINGDOM!

Thank all of yall!

Leesa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Leesa said...

Loved the following: Whenever I tell people that I was never allowed to trick-or-treat when I was younger, they always look at me like someone just died...I mean, basically it boils down to people dressing up to be people they're really not, and walking around in groups trying to get people to give them "treats"...sounds like a typical trip to a nightclub.

I did not trick-or-treat much as a child; something to do with pixie murders in a different state.

Ddot the King said...

LOL @ Leesa! I bet you could craft an awesome story out of that! of course the pixies would have to be freaky!

MsPerdie said...

OK, the comment about the rap song... LMAO!!!! You are SO right!

Didn't much like the comment about the cowboys, though :(

Ddot the King said...

MsPerdie You know the Cowboys suck! Go REDSKINS!!!

Ddot the King said...

singlegirl I don't know who is the most pitiful reality star but I do know that Omarosa and Coral from the Real World are high on the list!

You did it in a Taco Bell bathroom?! No comment. :)

Ddot the King said...

Oh and yeah the Broncos do suck! I live in D.C. but I can still say it!

Thanks for stopping by. Please come back and visit me!

Ddot the King said...

Ms Denee I'm just glad I'm not the only one that loves Saved by the Bell!

I'm glad I seem to entertain you as well! I always thought I had a warped sense of humor. I guess I'm not the only one!

Keep'em coming everybody!

princessdominique said...

This is my first visit to your blog. I think you visited my old one before. I've move the kingdom now though.

www.princessdominique.com/blog

Drea Inspired said...

[Stomping my foot and yelling]"Sex'al choc'late! Sex'al choc'late!"

sorry, just had to do it...still LMAO!!

MIZPOWDERPINK said...

Saved by the Bell..you cornball. If it makes you feel better, I watch Andy Milonakis too.

The Ctrl, Alt, Delete question was such a good question....

Why do you have a gun shot wound?

I would think a porn stars hates going to work on some days. Sex with people you like can be dreadful and some of those people in flicks.....yuk!

Anonymous said...

I love that... A man walks up to you and says - "everything I say to you is a lie."Is he telling you the truth or is he lying?

Thanks for stopping by my blog ;-)

Ddot the King said...

wrongfullyaccused I'm assuming you meant "extinct"...right? Anyway I think I got what you mean.

Ddot the King said...

Wow. I didn't know anybody actually used the word "bonkers"! LOL! Well it's no problem we all make mistakes....well not THE KING but most people do!

E said...

Heh...I like your random thoughts, especially the analogy about Halloween costumes vs. nightclubbing. And sadly I still love Saved by the Bell.

MIZPOWDERPINK said...

u still didn't explain the gun shot wound....

Ddot the King said...

Ok just for the record I do not have a gun shot wound. It just thought that if 50 can sell millions of albums because he was shot....well anyway...THE KING is fine!

LGP said...

The Cowboys will be the surprise of the season, Eagles will fold like a house of cards, the Falcons will blow it in the Championship and the stupid Pats will win it all.

I friggin hate the Pats, they're such a goody-two-shoes team.