I am The King so from time to time I am going to give you all a few New Rules for us all to live by. I am deputizing any and everybody reading this so if you see or hear anybody breaking one of these rules you have the authority to beat the brakes off of them. Make'em feel like the LAPD just gave them the once over!
Our first new rule is black congress women must send out press releases announcing when they will be changing their hairstyles as to avoid wasting all those racists Capitol Hill cops time harrassing them. Silly Congress women.
Before you pull out your picket signs ask yourself would you let this chick into a secure area?! She could be hiding Osama in that fro! Seriously wouldn't you tackle this chick on sight? No wonder Condoleezza never changes her 'do!
You heard the new rule Cynthia McKinney, now comply!
Our next New Rule is if you are The President of these United States, you can not, I repeat CANNOT lie just to start a war that will make billions of dollars for you and your friends. I know this one might seem obvious but trust me we need to reiterate it for sooooomme people! Now we're stuck. Literally stuck between Iraq and a hard place.
Third new rule on today's list is if you are going to complain about illegal immigrants in America let's not make our racism so obvious. Nobody ever complains or even mentions that Canadians come across the border all the time. Sure there are a lot more Mexicans but if we saw droves of Candians that look like Melyssa Ford, Pam Anderson, and Tamia packed in the trunks of their cars I'm pretty sure we'd still look the other way.
New Rule for my Jesus Junkies. Stop lying to yourselves and your kids. The Easter Bunny pooping out colorful chocolate eggs has nothing to do with J.C.! In fact did you know that little bunny has roots in pagan worship? Yep. It represents fertility. They incorporated it into the "christian" religion so that everybody could party together. Before you curse me out look it up. Never mind I know how lazy you are so I'll get you started.
The original Easter Bunny myth comes from a pagan holiday which was celebrated on the Vernal Equinox. According to Pagan legend, Ostara, the goddess of spring, turned a bird into a rabbit. The rabbit was supposedly able to fly as fast as the bird could fly, but it was still disappointed that it was a rabbit and not a bird. Ostara had pity on the creature, and one day out of every year, on the Vernal Equinox, she allowed the rabbit to lay eggs like a bird. Due to the proximity of Easter and the Vernal Equinox, converted pagans continued to associate the myth with their new holiday, and the idea has been passed down ever since.
Don't get me started on old St. Nick......
The last New Rule for today is let the punishment for a crime depend on the individual. If a man wa
nts to die for his beliefs like Moussaoui does, don't, DO NOT sentence him to death! Make him stock shelves for the Daughters of The American Revolution or fold American flags all day and forced to recite the pledge of allegiance before he can go to sleep. And to top it off force him to watch Fox News and ONLY Fox News. With double doses of Bill O'reilly. Now that's punishment!You're now one of The King's deputies so go find those offenders!!!
What's your New Rule?
This has been a Ddot the King Production. The young heart attack, I spit that cardiac. You can't see me baby boy, you got them cataracts.
153 comments:
i 100% agree w/ the last rule.. they should keep him locked up til he dies.. but dont sentenced him to death!
GO LADY TERPS!!!!
i totally agree about the hairstyles - come on ladies -
i absolutely agree about war and the money it makes for the elite
i won't even begin to trash all the holidays that people claim are "christian" when they are truly pagan (but i think many ppl believe ignorance is bliss...yea whatever, explain THAT one to the Creator)
There is NO immigrants - we all populate the EARTH hellooooo..we are all neighbors - i hate borders! that concept should be outlawed!
capital punishment is something i'm not going to even TOUCH ;)
~bunnihuggles~ from the yankee fan living in boston =)
You got something against the other New Rules T???
NAO I really don't understand how people don't know about the origins of these so called religious holidays. And a lot of people get mad when you tell them. It's a good thing I like to piss people off...and educate at the same time of course! LOL!
no.. but i suffer from short-term memory lost.. and that's the only 1 i could remember :o)
Stop blowing trees and your short term memory will get better!
pride makes ppl get so mad when the truth is told to them...
but don't they remember the scripture that says "the truth will set you free"?
~bunnihuggles~
i dont smoke... do my lips look black to you?!?
NAO you are so right! I am a man with pride but sometimes you gotta push that aside for your own well being. Give me the truth anyday!
Jenny you can't change the meaning of them. No matter how hard you try it is what it is. Instead of trying to rationalize what you believe try to find out what the truth is.
No Tif your lips don't look black but they do look....never mind GTL might be watching! LOL!
Just kidding GTL!!!
Nobody says anything Julissa because everybody is making money.
I disagree LadyCav. The truth is always the best route to go. Like NAO said sometimes we don't want to let go of traditions even if we find out they are wrong. It's each individuals choice but sooner or later you'll have to answer for all the decisions you make. Good or bad.
i agree w/ lady cav...
but my mom's never really got into the easter bunny thing.. and i never really liked being out in the hot ass sun in some bug infested grass looking for some damn eggs.. i just liked to color them at home..
yeah D, but see you run into the complication of breaking everything down to your child as far as letting them know not to ruin it for the other kids who parents told them about the "traditional" way
There's nothing wrong with it if you don't want anything to be wrong with it in your own mind. Do some research and see where it comes from and then make an informed decision.
If your mother had told you drinking blood every other wednesday was how to celebrate Easter then you'd think it was ok until somebody told you the truth.
Who cares if they "ruin" it for other kids! The more people who are informed the better! The bottom line is the truth is always better!
If your kid asks you what the Easter Bunny has to do with Jesus being resurrected what would you say?
not a damn thing! i never really understood the relation... i just knew around Easter.. I could dye eggs!
LOL@ "the fun part of Easter"! If you know the significance of the event that Easter supposedly celebrates then you'd know it's not about fun and games!
knowledge is power - and if one doesn't believe in the internet for information, try the encyclopedia - it has always proclaimed the truth about holidays.
regarding the young lady who asked why preachers don't say anything - pride is the first and foremost culprit
i guess at one point in my life i didn't ask either until someone asked me why...then i began to search out more and more of the truth ... and believe me it is out there...just keep searching
~bunnihuggles to everyone!~
I like you NAO!
D.. its kinda hard to make kids understand the importance of easter w/o making it interesting for them.. but at a certain age (8-10) it should be explained thoroughly
Once again I have to disagree with you Tif. I believe you can teach children anything and they'll get it. Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for.
I don't have any kids but when I do I think it's best to start teaching them things as soon as they pop out of the womb! They are like little computers. If you can teach a 3 year old the words to a 50 Cent song you can teach him/her anything!
ttd - i certainly understand your point - especially if it is something you have always been involved in - it's very very hard to change and explain..but children are resiliant - they respect us as parents when we are able to say we have changed our minds about something because we have gained more knowledge.
It also teaches them to search it out themselves, hopefully to the point where they can make more informed decisions instead of being led off into peer pressure.
i always think about the fact that my parents told me not to lie but as a parent myself, i see the whole xmas things was a lie - and wonder why the double standard? live, learn and love
all my best to the post'rs =)
~bunnihuggles~
ps i like you too d! =D
AW lod what did I miss
My new RULE is its one or the other ppl...U can't come out wiht flip flops some capris and a bubble coat with the fur hoood...GET IT TOGEHTER!!!!!!!
yeah i leaned about the whole easter thing a couple years ago... we now call it Resurection Sunday. and not everybody dresses up like we did when we were kids.. remember when you used to go easter shopping?
LOL ms.new!!!
you are SOOOOO right!
but my aren't we happy that we can wear capri's and sandals???
=)
D: who pissed in your cornflakes? So if it were up to you kids wouldn't have any fun at all would they?
In my house we don't subscribe to the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus but the kids still enjoy the holiday with new clothes and an Easter basket (when they were younger) and presents under the tree.
The truth doesn't always have to mean doom and gloom.
I can't wear them yet......and when I thought my cute ass could, it RAINED......and aint nothing worst that seeing somebody in some flip flops in teh rain..like they didnt see the forecast before they left..but hell its been raining since last ntie
so it was written........
good morning all
Mroning CHrissy nice of u to show up
it's raining here too...i opted to staying in a warm bed - blogging and reading the bible today =)
i did wear the CUTEST pair of flip flops a couple of days ago - i got from AVON - yes AVON! they have burgandy and pink silk flowers and are tooo cute!
*SIGH* i can't wait till i can put away all my closed up shoes and sweaters for the summer
have a great day and keep dry!
~bunnihuggles~
Also it should be a crime....to raise the gas prices more than 3x in a week and no more than by 2% not a whole $.30....taking food outta kids mouth and shit
Who pissed in my cornflakes?! HA! My mom used to say that all the time. LOL!
I never said everything had to be gloom and doom. Technically if you consider yourself a Christian and you are participating in pagan rituals THAT'S doom and gloom!
Easter Bunny, Easter Eggs, Easter Baskets. It all distracts from what we should be focusing on! I don't think God likes the Easter Bunny. He knows where it came from. What he doesn't like The King doesn't like.
New Booty don't even get me started on the gas prices. It's just crazy!
and to 2nd Missy's 1st rule.. no shorts & sweatshirts!!
amen!!!!!i THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOME FASHION RULES.......PRONTO!!!!!!!
hEY-NAOBUNNI-U LIVE IN MASSACHUSETTS TOO I SEE :)
i live in MA - it's crazy weather today ewwww cold and rainy
im in stoneham - north of boston
did you like riding a motorcycle?
~bunnihuggles~
Oh and when the KING makes u blogger of the week, UPDATE your blog!!!!!!!
Naobunni-I know wher Stoneham is Im in Brockton-the ugliest city in Massachusetts :>)
I loved RIDING....i was so mad he ended it early..it was a nice day for it...
Exactly!!! Thank you Missy! You gotta stay fresh when you are the B.O.W.!!!
yeah yeah yeah, i finally made it here.....my rule deals with driving: DONT BREAK WHEN NOONE ELSE IN YOUR LANE IS BREAKING....THE DUDE IN THE NEXT LANE DOES NOT CONCERN YOU.....
RUBBER NECKING IS NOT THE PROBLEM....ITS YOUR DUMB ASS BREAKING TO DO IT, COAST AND MOVE THE FUCK ON.....
DONT BREAK YOUR NECK TO GET IN FRONT OF ME, THEN DRIVE SLOW AS SHIT...YOU SEE ME COMING GET OUT THE FAWKING WAY
I think the truth should be told to children about religious holidays. At this point now, holidays are mostly about retail, the true meaning has been lost.
Morning all!
YES! YES! YES! Good ones N1S!
U know I hate to call ppl out ....
Good morning Laa. You are absoultely right Laa!
LOL @ Missy! You gotta do what you gotta do!
how about this to add on to N1S.. dont slam on ur breaks when you see a cop has someone else pulled over.. he's not concerned w/ you.. he already got the jackass that was speeding!!! im not saying go balling by him, but shit! dont do 30 in a 65!!!
preach ttd.....
oh and one that really burns me, you've been coasting the whole time i've been behind, but as soon as i make the move to pass you, now you got the peddle to the metal.....dont do that ish....
and dont get all in your feelings when i pass you, baby you werent driving as fast as i, if you were i couldn't have passed you, dont take it personal...you dont have to drive as fast as me, but do get the hell out the way
morning laa
alright done blogger surfing...i missed a lot i see...though i was checking up on it every now and again...anyways...my rule is don't get on the dance floor in a packed club if you ain't going to dance...especially if you are taking up half the dance floor by being so damn big....grrrr
Yall have the driving thing down pat and yet women still CAN'T DRIVE! HA!
i'll ignore that comment!
i feel you kween! which is why i stand off to the side until im drunk enought to party! LOL
YEs..dont BRAKE...just let off the gas.....
take that back king....
LOL!!!
It's a law here in MI that if a cop has someone pulled over on the shoulder you must slow down to 30 or 35 mph if you cannot get out of the lane closests to them. But I know we still have some idiots who slow down in the lane farthest from the cop.
No it is not ok for you to buy sandles where you heel or toes hang over.....its not cute and your feet get extra dirty....
No1 - Well said. sandals should fit and shape your lovely pedicured feet (or at least LOTIONED UP feet!)
~bunnihuggles~
U shoudl be arrested if you POSE on BLackplanet with drug paraphenalia or weapons.........or anywhere on the "net for that matter
MEN-USE LOTION..MOISTURIZE......CHAP STICK....SMELL GOOD....
hey MD'ers.. did ya'll hear about the dude at Arundel Mills Mall that got arrested for taking pics of an 8 year old boy in the bathroom! All he got charged w/ was "peeping tom" - WTF?!?!?!
I thought I was the only one thinking the talk about immigration was thinly veiled racism. Love the rules!
naw ttd i aint heard that one....cam phones are the devil...i've been violated myself....guy stopped his truck in the middle of the road to take a pic of me bent over......i bet my ass is onthe internet somewhere
preach bunni
Thanks Leesa! I'm glad you liked them.
I hadn't heard about that TTD but that's crazy!!
N1S I was just looking at butts online this morning and I thought that was you!!! LOL!
naw ttd i didn't hear that...that's crazy
king kick rocks
new rule: they just recently took up two stop sign around my way, because they were so pointless cuz there wasn't an intersection and the road didn't narrow, and people kept running them anyway...well the rule is BE ALERT AND AWARE OF CHANGES WHEN DRIVING because everyone and their momma was stopping in the area but not paying attention to the fact that there were no stop signs there
I bet you stopped didn't you Kween....C'mon you can tell The King!
no i didn't stop...i slowed down thinking it was still there BUT LOOKED AND SAWW THAT IT WASN'T and i kept on driving, people actually stopped and sat and waited and drove
Now why would you tell your King to kick rocks? That's not nice...
cuz of your comment about women drivers, who get into less amount of dumb ass accidents than men
dammit king, i knew it, lol....wait how you know what my assets look like *blush*
There should be an age limit for the following
1.Marriage
2. Child Bearing
3. At a certain age, it should be REVOKED
4. Cell phones..all MOTHERS should have one..your daughter should not have 2 and you don't have 1.....
shit speak for yo self tiger i was rich for 2.2 seconds
i wasnt.. my refund was shitty...
=(
what are we talking about? new rules?
If you live wit yo mama, please don't try to holla at a grown woman.
If you're at the club and you see your child there ... take your ass home.
You're not allowed to brag about driving a Lexus if you still rent.
"You're not allowed to brag about driving a Lexus if you still rent."
or living with your mama.
Just got back from lunch. I gotta catch up!
Women have more accidents. Look it up.
TigerKiss you were a very good B.O.W.
Bunny=Mascot not Jesus-That was a joke...right?
Good one about the taxes. My sister got her refund and promptly quit her job. Genius.
LOL @ all of Chele's rules!!!
got a refund and quit her job? WTH?
i know! what kind of refund did she get!!!!
Beats me but I'm sure it wasn't enough for her to be quitting her job!!! Obviously The King got all the brains in the family!!! LOL!
that's why i sad DUMB ASS accidents....King re-read my statement
you're black, so please dont wash your hair leave it wet and go outside....prime way to catch a cold
Yeah actually TK I think she got a new job one day last week. So she lived off her check for a little over a month before it set in that she's wasn't Bill Gates.
N1S actually that's a myth...as far catching a cold when you hair is wet, plus i do it all the time in the summer time...
and i dare someone say i am white so i don't count...lol
I can't find any statistics regarding women getting into more accidents ... wanna help me out?
you know i was about to kween! LOL
i know you were TTD...lol
Nope Chele, just take my word for it....LOL
Tigerkiss i've heard the same...and well mine is cheaper in comparison to some guys i know my age and older and that live in better neighborhoods than i do....hmmmmmmm
Bite me D.
I did find this little fact:
State law allows insurance companies to discriminate on the basis of sex if that discrimination is based on statistical evidence that proves one sex is a higher risk. Statistically, young men — especially those under 30 — are involved in a disproportionate number of accidents and will often pay more for their insurance.
Men have more accidents by the numbers. There are also more men drivers and men drive more miles than women.
However from 1975 to 2003, female deaths in motor vehicle crashes increased 14 percent compared to an 11 percent decline for male motorists during that same period.
Bite you?! You are freaky aren't ya?! LOL!
The women died in those accidents because MEN were driving.
Freaky?
You don't know the half of it ... and don't want to.
"However from 1975 to 2003, female deaths in motor vehicle crashes increased 14 percent compared to an 11 percent decline for male motorists during that same period."
meaning more females die in car accidents (DON'T MEAN THE WERE DRIVING OR CAUSED THE ACCIDENT)
Try again sweet king
also considering that there are more women in general, there have to be more LICENSED women drivers, especially since i see too many dudes getting transported by females on a day to day basis
a male friend of mine got into an accident with himself and a light pole....NO WOMAN INVOLVED with that one
There's nothing wrong with rear ending a woman every now and then!!! HA!
Oh I want to know Chele! I want to know!
There are more women but a large portion of women don't drive. Or at least used to not drive. Between 1975 and now there are more women drivers and hence more female CAUSED accidents.
New Rule: if you are a male who host a lot of female bloggers on your blog, do not get into a battle of the sexes convo, because you will lose...even if you may be right, you will still lose...lol
I've never lost anything in my life. And besides you ladies love me. Would you come here if I just talked about how great women are and how you are always right? Nope. The King keeps it real and yall lvoe me for it!
And all of yall are cool with me I just wouldn't ride anywhere with you! LOL
All hail the Kween.
Rear end a woman,huh? Your a little freaky too, I see.
A little?! HA!
lol a little freaky is correct about him Chele...lol...thanks I like the ring of that in here
All Hail the Kween...lol
King we like you don't get it twisted lol
No comment Julissa. LOL!
LC you are truly a mess you...lol gotta aways go the extra mile...
*singing* Motivation...haters get on ya job...Motivation...
who all got that email about the whole 01:02:03 4/5/06 thing
Damn Julissa ... you perked up after that comment.
what about 12:34:05 7/8/09
rell do you mean 12:34:56 7/8/09
i aint get the email, but someone post the date and time info on a MB i go to....
say it aint so Kween...dont you know black ppl dont do that, lol
Yeah I got that email. Pretty cool in a nerdy kind of way.
rule: socks and sandles/mules dont go there....its one or the other
Looks like Rell has been lurking as well. What's up Rell!
lol...well i'll with the fact that i'm not black so i don't count N1S...lol, cuz my hair still waves up...so i twist the front and let the back do what it do...
lol @ do what it do...pic please, i know you got one, lol
click on my profile
LOL @ Julissa
oh that's what you meant by twist, i had a totally diff view in my head
I'm just glad the term "good hair" wasn't and hasn't been used.
well king you just did it....."good hair" is in the eye of the beholder
lol King...i was thinking that...but since i still do the perm thing too i can't really say that my hair is "good"..lol
hey kwenn.. you tryna do my hair??
but king don't worry our kids will have good hair...lol...
the chick who did my hair last week used that term in reference to me and I asked her what she meant. she said that my hair does what it's supposed to do.
You're right N1S I shouldn't have mentioned it. I hate that term. Hate hate hate. That's all I have to say about it for now because I just realized I can write a blog about it...LOL
and what is that chele? listen to the comb? LOL!
when TTD...my schedule is picking up again...so i can say maybe do it ummmmmmmmmmmmm next monday evening (thats my earliest open time frame i have)...
kween can you touch up my curls
how bout tues... i want streaks! mines are starting to grow out..
oh that's simple cuz i use a lot of terms that he loves...
everytime @ 1st glance of kween's pic, i think it's N1S.. go back to the green flick!
N1S...where are you from (too lazy to click on the profile lol)
TTD tuesday's I teach until 8-8:30ish
i can tell you now that my free days are Mondays and most Friday's and some Saturday's after 2ish
SORRY KING...actually I'm not....lol
lol @ TTD...i'll be changing it tomorrow of course...
N1S i just peeped you in U.M. that's not too far...i guess to get you curls touched up...lol
:)
Actuall King you're not...what? You lost me.
i was saying i'm sorry for being going off topic and talking about hair...but then realized that I am not sorry and don't have to apologize...lol
kween u work in the district???? which metro stop u near????maybe we can hook this up on a lunch break, lol
N1S i live and work in Baltimore...
dammit....lol
oh have a great nite everyone, i gotta bounce
See Ya N1S
Did King leave w/o saying goodbye
i think so.. he didnt learn his lesson from yesterday!
this means war....
ok we all should change our profile pics to some dude with a nice chest, and leave mad comments tomorrow...or something like have a convo and exclude him...or just plain flat out BOYCOTT HIS ASS...
that first picture is rodney king right?
lol yes rell
oh my god - I actually agree with you!
*gasp*
I love "the rules", At least now I know what they are talking about on cnbc.
sorry so late, sista had to get her nails done!
Did you hear about how this syndicated radio show (Neal Boortz) said that Cynthia McKinney looks like a "Ghetto Slut"?
Now i know you had jokes for her, but those are fightin' words for real.
Peace.
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