I'm going to try to answer these more often. My inbox is full of unread emails, or what I like to call dmail, unanswered emails, and emails that I referred to the local authorities. Crazy motherfuckers.
Anyway so I get a lot of the same type questions and a lot of off the wall questions. I've tried to compile the most frequently asked questions and some of the more entertaining and some that made me really have to think hard. Enjoy.
D. how do you come up with your blog ideas?
On most days I just sit at my desk and stare into outer space until something pops into my head or my boss asks if everything is ok, whichever comes first.
King, why doesn't whats her name come to your blog anymore?
Because she doesn't find it "interesting". LOL! Honestly I have no idea. Ask her.
King, I'm going to be in the D.C. area in May can we hook up and do something?
Sure! I have a few rules though. First you must pay me by the hour. There will be a fee for any pictures you want to take with me and you have to drive, pay for dinner, the movie, and any other entertainment that I choose for the evening. If you meet my physical requirements you will also be required to do really nasty things to me for the remainder of the evening. Boy we are going to have a blast!
What makes you think you're better than everybody else?
Wait a minute you don't think I'm better than you?
If you could have dinner with any 4 people from history who would they be and why?
Jesus- Because I'm sure the conversation would be amazing and I don't think he'd eat much which means more for me!
Noah- I'd have a million questions for him. And I have a feeling he wouldn't like meat which means more for me.
Michael Jordan- I don't even know what I'd say to him but I think Jesus would be reprimanding him for selling his soul to the devil to be that good at everything so he wouldn't be eating and that of course means more for me.
Yo Mama- To ask her why she chooses to drive an 18 wheeler and wear combat boots.
Can you please stop deleting my comments?
No.
You're a real ass but can you write a funny post for me?
Fuck you. Pay me.
How many women have you been with?
I'm a virgin. I think you're special, will you be my first?
If I ever meet you I'm going to beat the crap out of you!
I'm sorry all comments must be in the form of a question. Besides I hired Mr. T and Green Mile to be my full time bodyguards.
Bodyguards?! That's not real gangsta if you ask me!
Neither is threatening people thorugh email but I won't tell anybody if you don't.
Will you please come by my blog?
Sure.
Do you find me attractive?
Before or after I take my medicine?
Is your johnson as big as that chick says it is?
Ask yo mama.
Maybe I'll make this a weekly feature. Dmail any and all questions to ddot23@gmail.com with King's Mailbag in the subject field to have your question answered next Thursday.
Now go jump in a lake.
143 comments:
lawd lawd lawd...
Good afternoon Nik!
What question Goddess?
GO JUMP IN A LAKE!!!
No questions about me? I am pissed.
Maybe next time GP! LOL
Who are you ddototherportion? Don't read that sentence rudely...lol.
i got in the first response today? what da hell is up with THAT?
Did somebody actually e-mail you and ask if you found them attractive? It wasn't me, was it? 'Cause after a few beers, things get a little hazy.
LOL @ GP, you are always so nice!
Good Afternoon everyone!
ooohhhh...lol. Do you know Ddot personally or you one of his many internet fans...rofl.
good afternoon, laa.
wassup, gp
uh, grant? LOL
wassup arson...don't you know you can't make demands of d? it'll just make him even MORE trife. LOL
HEY! I'm not trifling!
GP is really getting her Katie Couric on! Investigate that thing GP! LOL! Let me know what you come up with!
Hey NIkki and Laa.
Ddot the inside scoop on you is always fun. Let's just hope it isn't Chance...lol.
That's exactly what I thought when I first saw it! LOL!
i must remember to email d a list of my questions, starting with:
1. how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
2. if a tree falls in a forest and there's nobody around to hear it, should we really give a fuck if it makes a sound or not?
3. how many duke rugby players does it take to screw an exotic dancer?
actually, i'd like to change that first question...
it should read:
how much wood can a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck wood.
You should make this a regular feature.
I made it HEy King :)
Hey Laa-when is your trip?
Anybody have tomorrow off?
lol...today is poppin off...i am back from jumpin in a lake...thanks for the suggestion king
how can we pervert this convo....hmmmm
rofl. Are you Stilldontworry (another anon poster)?
"I'm highly perturbed you thought I was the weird dude acting as wikipedia."
That was too funny!
let's not pervert this convo! i'm good without the perversion!
me too nikki.. kween you need to get your mind out of the gutter!
I was worn out from that 417 comment. Although I have went back through the comments and laughed at some of the stuff you all were saying...lol.
Hey Ttd. What's been up? How your husband doing?
portion - it's dry over here cuz of the comment moderation thing. we hate seeing that shit.
you're still an ass
You have no idea how good that makes me feel Kool!
i can say it...
we will not be reaching 400 comments today!
no not today...i love the sound of birds early in the morning
hee hee
Yall need to get focused we could hit 2 by 4:30 with some dedication!
Kween~ how about a big ass dog barking right outside your window?
hey GP! He's good.. he's posted twice.. but he's still a little swamped.. i'll let him know you asked about him... you know i'll be thru your blog to catch up this weekend :o)
i was a little hurt about the 400 comment thing.. cause i only posted once.. i felt some type of way.. LOL
ok i hate that cuz my next door neighbor has a big dog and we have paper thin walls...and he barks every morning and my dog sings along (my chihuahua)
damn D you wanna hit 2 but you not suggesting anything to talk about...
yeah guess who's dog it is barking...MINE!!! dumb dog. i hate that dog sometimes
Oh I love you D.O.P.
Girl, I glad you know where I coming from! ANd you qouted the song too.
where do you buy fitting baseball caps from?
does anybody else hate those doublemint mints commericals?
any hat store or tennis shoe store
You know that convenience store down the street from your house that the Iraqi dude runs? He sells them.
like Foot Locker? i don't go to the mall since they are over run by teens so i really don't know...
he D i live in a white hood... ain't none of them around here!
kool - i dig the mint commercials. i think they're cute.
So who runs the convenience stores around there? LOL!
white people
they get on my nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah.. footlocker is fine. they have a limited selection though.. do ya'll have like a lids or something? they specialize in sports hats...
Lids...is that the name of the store? i'll have to look it up
yes
ttd - i LOVE lids! then again, i think i dig that store cuz that's where all the brothas go.
Wow. I haven't seen a white person running a convenience store in years! I must come visit!
are you playing D?
thats all that is around here white people EVERY DAMN WHERE!!!!!!!!! i get happy when i see black folk. i smile and say hi... and everything... thats not normal for me. (thinking be my friend!!!) j/k
a white person running a convenience store? know what that means?
it means the non-white population in that area is at about .01%
check the convenience stores, grocery stores, and fast food joints. if there ain't no minorities working those spots, you in whiteyland.
i have to agree.. they're usually arabs, asians, africans, or jamaicans....
Racist? No. Prick? ABSOLUTELY!
whiteyland = black folk PROTECT YA NECK.
thats what i be saying... i tell my husband they gonna lench me out here
LMAO at Nikki!
Kool you are going to be out jogging one day, and then you are going to turn around and see a white mob screaming "catch her!"
Seriously if I were to see white people running a convenience store or anything like that I'd be like somebody who's at the zoo looking at an endangered species.
I'd be like "Dude, you realize yall don't have to do this anymore, right?"
Don't worry Kool, they are more afraid of you than you are of them! LMAO!!!
lol! Are you telling me Kool that there aren't any crackheads walking around the stores, picking up trash and asking to pump your gas?
whos going joggin?
hell no! you gotta go to STL downtown or close to the city to see that!
thats like 25 minutes away from me. i'm out in booneyland
lmao@"dude, you realize you don't have to do this anymore" HAHAHA
I camme home from work early this week and saw that the US Government called...I was like, what the hell did I write on my blog...lol
Crackheads don't ask you to pump your gas???? You don't even see them??? My goodness! What do you do with all your spare change then?!
LMAO! Ok I'm cracking myself up now. Let's FOCUS people! We gotta at least hit 100!
if the government calls me its usally my sister or my dad!
GP is going to jail! Some big chick with cornrows named Buffy is going to take your cookies!
damn you almost there calm down!
LOL take your cookies
damn you almost there calm down!
I've heard that somewhere before...LOL
d...why must "we" have a goal in your kingdom...
Ummm...because I said so!
i cant swin d, i aint jumping in noones lake,
king kma
is that good or bad, D?
There's always one.
Ok N1S you get a pass. You my dear can go play in traffic!
ok everyone let's stop here w/ the comments
can't we all just get along?!
i know, right kool!
look here chick...i know you like to cuz drama and stuff because your life seems to lack substance...but please you constantly going against me shows one obvious thing...
And The King makes 100. You are dismissed.
and i was the 100th comment
:-P
ya'll trippin
nobody is worst than him
hmmmmmmm I'm the worse ever... HA!
look here chick...negativity comes in this here blog only when two people enter in...that's you LC and Chance...hmmmmmmm why don't go, fuck and make puppies
Didn't I tell you to stop that nonsense? We are all having fun. We don't need the drama.
Don't comment again until you hear from me.
lol. Cav where were you the other day. Did you see I asked about you?
Ddot thinks he is an internet pimp..rofl.
right! telling people what to do and stuff.. he's funny! LOL
I'm talking to you. You have to stop that nonsense and just chill.
moving on...ok before d puts it out there on bmore...people have really lost it...holding hostage in a police station at a college WTF
DDDDAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNNN!!! D got it like that!!! shheeeeeeiiitttt...
lol @ Kool
got me wantin to call him Big D...or Daddy...or King D...or papi...or somthing dang...
Holding folks hostage IN the police station?!
Mental Note: Never, ever go to Bmore!
Ddot is always spoiling the fun D.O.P. Damn mediator!
and he did it with scissors
and that is so not a bmore thing, just so happens that it happened in bmore (let's not start with dc)
why is my 10 month old and my almost 5 year old over here fighting over a chair! lol
wait should i be laughing?
lol @ GP
Whatever GP!!!
Kool I'm calling the Social Services on you!
yeah whatever... its still funny!
lol 2 damn mediator. Too much!
GP who's the second one?
whoa...blonde moment...never mind lol
my hair is still blonde under the black y'all...lol...
Wow. Kween.....wow.
mines is blonde too!
i know that was bad...i'll put myself in the corner on time out for that one
anybody know how to translate something into english?
something like what?
try this translator
u ladies better play nice damnit. no cat fights up in this spot.
wow nikki...
kween - i don't want you hurting anybody. LOL
I meant to type @.
But if I had to choose another mediator it would definitely be Kool...rofl.
lol GP...and i feel you Nikki...lol
oo thank you Kween. i got a japaneese book that i need in ehglish.
english... damn
wow thanks GP!!!
NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!!
i ain't got shit to do anyway...well i could be doing house work... but thats no fun!
no japaneese dammit
try this one
thanks
that works!!!
why do you want to learn japanese?
so i can read this damn book!
maybe i should look for a Japanese - English dictionary...
that might help... that's what i did when learning spanish
yeah i got the dictionary on amazon.com for like a dollar!!!
First of all, Nikki is hilarious!
D, you are a mess as usual and your list of groupies is growing by the second. Stay fresh to def!
Boy, if don't get the random thought friday post up with the quickness...
:op
Patience my dear Andrea!!!
Good morning peoples!
i should be sleep...
what the hell are you doing D? i can't be on here all day today i gots things to do!! ( as if you don't!! HAHA)
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