It's Monday so we need to really get things going today. Let's talk relationships. I received an email this morning that I really liked and it was actually the second time I've gotten it but this time I really read it. You've probably gotten it too but if not I'll share it with you and then I'd love to get your thoughts.
A Sista's Poem:
Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things you need to see?
Will you be able to understand, that I'm a good womanand in my life I need a good man?
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly, not constantlytrippin??
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations behind?
Can you come to me with your problems and not waituntil it's too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I would wantyou to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and admit yourfeelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to me allnight long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong?
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my lover?
Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds & Gold?
Can you make me feel like I'm the last woman you'llever hold?
Do you qualify?
Do you qualify to be called a good man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?
To be in my life, I need to know, DO YOU QUALIFY?
The Brother's Response:
You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you needme to be?
My sister, are you prepared for what you've asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?
Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen one, theauthority, the comforter, and the head?Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
Or will you fight with me instead?
If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance neglected, andchecked with some serious noise?
When I talk, will you listen?
I mean whole heartedly and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?
Can I be the man at all times?Even when it hurts?
Or is it just when it's convenient for you?
Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I couldbe?
Will you see the strong Black Man within?
Or will you always remind me of the all the pastbrothers behind me and make me pay for their sins?
If I don't send you flowers the day your co-workerreceived some, will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those otherdoggish brothers?
Will you question if my commitment is real?
Will you be patient and teach me to understand you,and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, Baby what's wrong?
Or will you respond with, "Well a REAL man wouldknow!"
When we first met, what was it that caught your eye?
Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?
Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you love what I drive, instead of what's driving me?
Yes I can, and I will, make love to you from midnightto the dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I'm tired, will you trust I'msincere or believe that there must be another one?My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours.
No woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please,in this love thang meet me half way.
In life's tough times I'll hold you, in the roughtimes I'll mold you, your simplest wish will be mycommand.
My life is yours if need be.
Yes you can fully bleed me, and when hell comes, inyour place, I'll stand.
A good relationship is a powerful institution thatmust be built on a foundation of two.
So to answer your question, YES sister, I do qualify.Now, more importantly.....! Do you?
49 comments:
That's a really nice poem.
I really like this. I especially enjoyed the male response. Women too often put these high expectations on brothers -- expectations that are viritually impossible to reach. And then when he falls short he is labeled a dog. No man is perfect. I'm slowly figuring this out through conversations with (if you can believe) my ex-husband.
I totally agree Chele. The expectations can really get out of hand. There is no way an imperfect man can live up to some of the things women expect. It causes frustration and anger. And eventually the man will cheat. Stop reading the romance novels and watching so much TV. Life is not a fairytale.
good stuff...i actually agree with you king (hmmm must still have some daiquiri in my system)...books and tv portray men unrealistically sometimes and it makes our fantasies seem somewhat obtainable to we tend to live in the majestic world and not the real world...
Good morning...I read both sides,but I think that far too many men out here give less than 100%. They say that there is a black male shortage and women are settling for less than they should, just to have a man. Women put out high expectations but get disappointed so often because some men just don't try. I realize that no one is perfect but what's wrong with having high expectations?
There's nothing wrong with high expectations. But they have to be realistic. And are you willing to be held to the same level of expectations?! Because a lot of women aren't. They hit you with the "I don't have to do this or that". And yet you want your man to be something out of a movie. it's not fair and I think it's why so many relationships and marriages fall apart.
The same things that I expect from a man are the same things that I am willing to give also. That is true with anything that if you take more than you give something breaks down. I don't have a fairy tale notion of relationships but I would like to have someone who is giving just as much as I.
AMEN to that LAALAA, i so feel you...
The female response to the male response should include a blowjob offer to be considered legit. Forward all offers to me if you're busy at work today.
love is a 2-way street.. i cant expect u to give me 100% of you, if im not willing to do the same.. i have high expectations.. but believe that i will do my best to live up to each of your expectations.. im not going to have my man feeling like "i did this & that for her, but she doesn't appreciate it, nor can she do this simple thing for me" as long as my man does all that he can to make our relationship work.. im going to meet him 1/2 way
But don't you think that everybody thinks that they are giving their all in the relationship? I think women should ask their men if they feel like they are doing all that they can before telling him where he's falling short. Communication is very important. A lot of women hold on to things and never say a word until they despise their man and then he doesn't know what happened. Question...Would any of you give your significant other the passwords to your email or voicemail if they asked for it?
I check my email and VM in front of my man. He should never have to ask for it, but if he did then I wouldn't have any problems with giving it to him. I have nothing to hide and I'm very honest with him at all times.
hmmm good questions depending on the reason why and how long we've been together and if i am confident in his love for me...yeah...but if it was like my last situation (where there's two different levels of love and relationship understandings) then no...
yeah.. i'd give it to him if he asked for it.. but we have complete trust for one another so there would be no need for him to ask.. but im going to ask him to join this discussion and to post whether he feels im giving all that i can in out relationship
I agree TTD there should be no reason to ask for it if there is complete trust but if it was asked for I don't think it should be a problem. And to me if you are skeptical at first then it's going to make me think you're up to no good or at the very least you've given out your number or email while just flirting. Once those thoughts are there then we're going to have a problem.
I wouldn't ask for the passwords for email or voicemail. If my husband wanted the information, I would give it to him but not to a boyfriend.
Nothing wrong with high expectations as long as they are realistic. I'm not suggesting that anyone settle for less. Just don't expect a man to bring the whole meal to the table if you are only willing to bring the cups. Know what I mean?
I like the way you put that Chele.
And yes there is definitely a difference between boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife.
i love romance novels! don't hate!
that said, i can understand what you're saying. folk get fiction mixed up with those books, but it ain't just the women. guys also buy into that crap about 'the one'. you know, the myth about there being the one soulmate out there for everybody.
the male response was good. did you write that, king?
Giving your email and vm password causes too much drama.
But I do like to have HIS. I am not going to front.
For investigation purposes. Every now again i have to do some investigating...however, the older I have become I have learned not to really give a fuck and to cheat on a man.
*just joking*
I am having relationship blues.
I was asked to comment on this relationship discussion. D-dot, to answer the last question you asked. I would give it to her immediately. I have nothing to hide that's why she has my bank acct. #. That's why when she asks for my ssn I give it to her on demand. Any email, bank acct.# or passcode she can have on demand from me willingly. But that comes w/ time, trust and understanding...those things don't work for everyone.
That's what real love is, loving w/o any limits.
To have expectations for you partner is great.
But I like what Chele said, the expectations are great but sometimes just sometimes people want their partner to be something that isn't real.
Have expectations like, i want my partner to be able to listen and not just hear me.
I want my partner to be able to communicate openly.
GTL that was well put...
once I get into a relationship i'll have more to say on this topic...but now all I do is just hope and wish
:-S
thanks for appreciating the thought...and you know it won't be too long before you are hooked up and in love...
Very well put GTL. It's good to have another male around here. I think what you said would make you look crazy in a lot of men's eyes. That is where we as men have a major problem. Giving your all to your woman is not only beneficial but necessary. Yes she has to prove that she deserves it but once you reach that level then be a real man and have faith and trust in your woman. We need to realize that loving our woman uncondtionally doesn't make us soft.
GTL, those are good and REAL expectations to have.
Chele, I'm just loving, "Just don't expect a man to bring the whole meal to the table if you are only willing to bring the cups." So very true!
Stop your whining Kween!
Nikki you're right guys do buy into the whole notion of finding their Beyonce. I have a friend who dumps a girl every few months for the most trivial reasons. Nobody but The King is perfect people!
D-dot you hit on a key issue. We as men tend to look at other men and weigh what they think vs what we should actually do. The only thing is (this is for Kween)"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become a man, I have put away childish things."
The only person that matters is TTD or the woman your dealing w/. Many men may look and think I'm crazy. But it doesn't matter how I'm viewed through their eyes, the only perspective I'm concerned about is hers....
That's really good GTL.
Don't get me wrong if I was one of your boys I'd be saying you're whooped! Bad. Kunta Kinte wasn't whipped as bad.
But like you said you've got to do what is going to make you and your woman happy. And Kween ain't the only one that knows scriptures up in here! LOL
GTL you are in the minority!
Wonderful comments.
Well Laa I don't think that he is. A lot of men will do those things if they truly feel you are down for them no matter what. But it's a thin line. If you seem completely obsesses then human nature dictates that we will take advantage. And likewise on the man's end. IA man can't be a little ninny and give into everything his woman wants just...because! Everybody has a role and needs to play that role. Women don't treat your man like your son and then expect him to act like a man!
i dont treat my man as a child.. he is my equal & that he does for me, i do in return for him.. soo he's not whooped! he's a good man (and as posted on my blog.. a keeper) he is a minority... not many men are willing to behave as he in fear of what their boys will say...
Yeah but all the people who are calling me whooped are the same ones looking for what I have. I don't have to worry who I'm going home w/ or who is going home w/ me after the club. It's a done deal before I leave the house...But those that call me whooped wouldn't know anything about that...LOL
It's not so bad in the minority...I'm a pioneer among men...Nah really I'm just the first to realize a great thing that was in front of me.
Again I don't think you're the minority. I am the same way. I think most men are but we are portrayed to be dogs and jerks. Ok well I am a jerk but I'm a good man to my woman. There's nothing wrong with being whooped as long as your woman is whooped too.
i am ;o)
Let's not call it whooped, lets call it a mutual understanding to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy....whooped makes it seems like one person is controlling the other...
but for GP....I am glad I'm whooped...better than Denzel in Glory
Ummm...GTL. Let's just call it whooped. I mean if I'm joking one of my boys I can't yell out "YOU AND YOUR WOMAN HAVE A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING!" That would suck. Saying "YOU'RE WHOOPED!" Makes everybody feel better.
yeah your right....I am what i am
if everyone was fully evolved enough to recognize 'real' love (as you folk have described here) and respond accordingly, this discussion would be unnecessary.
because we're discussing it, i would say that the 'shoulds' are good, but there are alot of folk who will never evolve to the point necessary to give of their love unconditionally and maturely.
so with all that said, i think 'real' love is dependent upon the folk who are involved and making a success of their relationship. if there are two people who are cool with the fact that they don't share everything with each other, but the relationship is fulfilling for them, then that's 'real love'
it's about finding the person who is best suitable for the kind of love you're ready to give.
Very well put Nikki.
Come on yall. Just 1 hour to go. Entertain The King!
and on that note this post is over
THE END
Please save all comments and questions for the next post for this post is now closed, thank you all for your input and have a nice day!!!
I have always loved this poem.
Kween smokes crack.
Hey Honey-libra. Nice pic.
King go play in traffic...
i really liked that
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