What Up Grant!
RULES
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment here on my blog with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished leaving your comment, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you. I think this will be fun for all; like a bowl of Skittles and M&M's mixed; a color and a flavor for everyone!
73 comments:
I remember one time in school we were running through the hall slipping tiny joints into the lockers of people we didn't like. They the K-9 searches came and busted them while we were out by the football field getting high. LOL
I had forgotten all about that Rae Ann!! That was so much fun!
Ddot, remember how we met? Here I was, fresh out of school, and I was working for the Girl Scouts. I had taken a troop of Older Girls to Washington DC, and we were lost. This was my first time out of Georgia, and I was anxious. I had 12 girls, all high school age, and a co-worker and I were intent on keeping them out of trouble. We were on "the Mall," and we were looking for a particular museum. We asked the first person who looked like they would help, a handsome young man with kind eyes. That man was Ddot. Not only did you tell us where the museum was, but you took us there yourself. While the girls were looking through the museum, you treated me to coffee and told me your view of the world. I listened intently as you went on about all sorts of subjects. I felt safe and entertained and that all was right with the world. That was my introduction to Ddot. It was a scary morning that turned out to be a wonderful day in Washington DC.
Well I remembered how it was when i first moved to DC and I was constantly lost so I thought I'd hel you guys out and besides who can say no to a hot girl scout leader?!
Ddot,
Remember taht time at Dream when your friend spilled that drink on my friend? Remember how we had to hold them back off each other? After we got them settled down, you came over and bought me and my friend drinks? We thought you were so nice! You offered to pay for the dry cleaning and then we took you to breakfast at IHOP! You sure can eat some pancakes! That was a fun night! Let's do it again minus the drink spilling! LOL!
Now you know only about 3 people that read this blog know about Dream...well it's Love now right? But yeah I remember that. Every time he gets drunk he does something stupid like that but I always end up getting to meet some cool chicks so I guess it's a good thing. Those pancakes were off the chain! Oh and which one of yall kept trying to play footsie with me under the table?!
I'll never tell... ;)
It was at the airport...we ended up on the same flight to Pheonix. I kept saying I know you from somewhere and your head kept getting bigger cause you thought I was trying to holla. Then I remembered YOU were the dude I saw that one night at about 11:45PM running down the street naked with 5 offensive line men chasing you and a redbone screaming for them to stop. I was at a stop sign and I swore if our paths ever crossed again I had to ask how you got away.
So, how did you?
That was one of the craziest nights of my life!!!
I ended up running down an alley way which was a dead end. I decided to just prepare myself to take my whooping like a man. That's when i noticed one of the dudes checking out my package. I winked at him and he immediately conviced them not to bother me! Those redbones will get you in trouble every time!!!
I'm sure the dude checking out your package wanted your number and some quality time. How did you handle that?
Well I had to give him my number at the time but later I threatened to tell all his friends he was gay if he didn't stop calling me!!
And OF COURSE he wasn't gay! He just wanted y'all to hang out and shoot hoops :) What you thought wwas a wink was really something in his eye.
Exactly! I am just irresistable to women and unfortunately men too.
Oh hell! Remember how we met? It was at Game One of the 1999 World Series in the ATL. I always remember that year fondly because that was the year my beloved Yankees swept the Braves but I wasn’t too nice to you that night. Hey, a girl had a lot on her mind…It was the bottom of the 7th inning and I was rushing up to the bathroom…the Braves were winning 1-0 and I was not in the mood to make new friends. (Side note, the Bronx Bombers went on to score 4 runs in the 8th…)
Anywhoo, when I was racing to the bathroom…I accidentally knocked into you and spilled your beer. You were pissed…but it’s not like I blame you. Those darn beers cost like 7 bucks. I would have been mad too.
But I digress….
After we exchanged pleasantries, I headed to the ladies room and returned with a fresh cold one for you and all was forgiven…Right?
At least that’s how I remember it. But I could be wrong…I had been drinking too.
Ummm..actually I was yelling something to the effect of "Jeter sucks" and you poured your beer on me! I playfully lunged at you and you took off and stayed in the ladies room for quite some time. When you finally emerged I was standing there with GeorgiaPeach and Drea who were ready to beat you down. But you apologized and we all ended up hanging out for the rest of the night. You tried to get me to come back to your room but I knew you were too drunk to truly appreciate what I had to offer so I took a rain check. Hey that reminds me......
Actually, that sounds a bit more like it. Minus the whole sluttly girl hotel room thing! hehe.
And I didnt really throw the beer on you...it was part of my Dominican Baptism thing. Hey, it works in the locker room!
What was even funnier was afterwards I caught the preacher in his office with his daughter's husband!!! But it was cool because he gave me all the money out of the "building fund" to keep my mouth shut.
Why is it the ladies always forget the slutty hotel thing?! Oh well it was fun anyway!
Everyone! OMGosh ya’ll I am cracking up..lol. Do you’ll remember when we all met at Ddot’s place that year? Remember how we all remarked how close he stayed to the Abraham Lincoln Memorial? And how it was such a wonderful view. I mean he is practically next door to it. I don’t know why Arson came up with the brilliant idea to take an x pill but the only one that was down for it was Ddot. Ddot takes the pill and within an hour he starts going bizurko. Screaming how much he loved Jacque and wanted to wear her panties. Leesa commented that she knew he was a wacko and we all agreed. All of a sudden Drea turned on some Lil Jon and Ying Yang Twins "Shake it Like a Salt Shaker".. I don’t know why she did that…because all of a sudden you Ddot, decided to start stripping and attempted to give Tiffany a lap dance. After Tiffany pushed you off, you went over to Mizpowderpink and she told you to go somewhere with all that. Your crazy ass runs out the front door. Jacque started running after you to stop you and tell you that Mizpowderpink was only joking. However A couple of your gay neighbors catches a glimpse of your purple booty and started running after you as well. Jacque told me that not only did you holler at one of those dudes but you also got arrested for desecrating the Abraham Lincoln Memorial. Apparently you and your naked ass climbed on top of his knee and started asking him to spank you. My question is, have you took an x pill since?
Ok let me get myself together....
Somehow I'm having a hard time remembering that night GP(jerk)!
I do remember asking Jackie could I get in her panties but before she could respond you, GP said we should have an orgy and you could teach everybody some of your new tricks. Jackie and MPP who were both tipsy said they knew just as much as you and then we all proceeded to have a blast! I did get carried away with the X pills though and that reminds me I've got to go to court over the Abraham Lincoln thing next week. Every time I look at a 5 dollar bill I have to laugh!!
Naw Ddot. I specifically heard you say "Jackie can you please let me try on your panties, just for a second? I loooove you".
LMAO!!!
No GP you were just drunk so who knows what you heard. You were over in the corner hitting on Mwabi!
@ Jackie---ROTFLMAO!!!!
@ Arson---Hey I remember that FOR REAL!! I might blog about that one!
By the way everybody Jackie's memory is as bad a GP's!!! She couldn't keep her little hands off me! I kept trying to tell her and all the tipsy ladies that I don't do drunk women because it's no fun and that I'd rather hum a rail than do that. They all started to scatter because they couldn't have me but little did I know they all met up at Starbucks to get sober. Well when they showed up at my house later needless to say I didn't have any excuses and I was forced to do all of them one by one.
Ya'll got me over here stomping my feet and laughing so hard on the inside. Whoa. Doesn't make any sense.
Arson that broad was crazy!! I still don't know how you pushed her off on em but I do remember jumping under your mom's car. That was hilarious.
Yeah Ddot. We passed that mouth around like the Olympic Torch.
Now that's just nasty GP....LMAO!!!
Arson they could be made up or true...As i think about that crazy stuff sometimes truth is stranger than fiction!
I remember that time we went rabbit hunting and you got mad because I forgot to gas up the chainsaw and you said we’d look pretty silly just trying to stomp on the bunnies but then we drank some Liquid Plumber and you decided it would be more fun to just mess with their minds so I started telling them longwinded stories about the onion that married a beaver while you bent low and made faces at them and you made this one face with both eyes in the same socket and your tongue plugged into your left ear and it made the bunnies explode which enraged the fairy assigned to those woods (local union # 247890462) and she flitted down and cursed us to be filled with homicidal rage and yet socially awkward around women (especially Asian dentists) but you had your fingers crossed and so it only affected me and I became despondent and climbed on the roof of my car and threatened to jump off as many times as needed to commit suicide but it was really just a plea for help since all I wanted was a shoulder to cry on but you thought that was a tad sissified so you went for waffles until a butterfly flew by and distracted me and I forgot about the whole suicide thing and then we had ice cream. Which was nice.
Arson you talking about the chick with the messed up teeth?! LOL..yeah I remember that...I forgot what I took but I do remember taking the Forrest Gump VHS!!! We were terrible!!
Arson that shit ain't funny. Someone played me like that...:(
My sister is still pissed about that.
Grant---ummm do you smoke crack?
LOL!
I barely remeber that day but for obvious reasons. At any rate let's do it again!!!
Don't believe it GP...that dude ain't sorry!!!! LOL!!!
Oh brother...now he's flirting...don't trust him GP especially if you have some nice things in your house!!!
And hear I was planning a get together for the King's subjects and I learn of the trickery and thievery *shaking head*
So wait, GP was trying to get with me? I must have been drunk too cause I would remembered them ta tas up on me.
Right Jacque...2 DD paired women together...I would have sobered up for that one
I think this is the King's attempt at trying to make this a reality for his viewing pleasure.
lol!
Wow I step away from the computer for a second and look what happens...Yall got me buying 34 dollar glasses of water and a greasy and shiney face!! Yall some nasty women!!! Nasty nasty nasty...
and I like it!!!
What a breast reduction? I would love one of those...
You mean they grew back after you chopped them down?! Now that's what I call ambition!
I've been wanting a reduction foreva but the MTV episode with that one girl and all her pain scared me.
And my husband would be so sad :(
When did this turn into The Discovery Health blog?!
The only time we talk about breasts here it is in the most vulgar ways!!! No more of this surgery talk! Geez!
Jacque that's the other thing that scares me is the whole nipple replacement thing - I love my nipples!
Now back to the post....
D-dot remember when you were trying to make Da Band and you were in line in between Babs and Sarah...you being you of course tried to holla at Sarah and her husbamanager wasn't having it and he went and told Diddy that you were just trying to make Da Band so you could holla at him. Puff immeadiatelyhad you thrown off the property and you banned from NYC for life?
Mysterious wanted you so bad tho and called you for months - she still calling?
Damn Ddot, if you only had a TWA.
Babs smelled like hawaiian punch and cheese.
I was just joking with Sarah. I didn't want her but her husband is psycho!!!
Mysterious still calls and tries to pretend that she's someone else but I'd know that baritone voice anywhere!!! She's doing ok though. Last I heard she'd made assistant manager at McDonald's.
Have u tried to get back to NYC since then? Look on the bright side, you missed the walk to Brooklyn for cheesecake :)
GP, lap dances? Dayum, its a shame what too much Mad Dog can do.
By the way, I think Babs is WORKING at Juniors now...singing while she makes the cheese cake.
I didn't kill him but I did wound him...he was digging through my trash cans and I thought he was a stray cat or something and so I just started shooting at the trash can. Poor Fred.
The most outstanding memory i have of you is when you did that lap dance at the Hillary Duff concert.I mean really how old were those girls,their poor mothers had to cover their eyes.It was just too much seeing you flash your pink thong.
I was at this club with my girls and we were chilling, and you kept trying to send drinks over to me. But I had already reached me limit of three so I just kept giving them to my girls. You asked me to dance and I thought you were so fine that I invited you up to my hotel room that was above the club. We had to hurry up and rush out while my girls weren't looking cause I didn't want them to think that I was a hoe or something. We got to my room and was just feeling the moment so much that you started stripping down to nothing. You was packing so I was like hey, this is alright, I'm going to ride him like he ain't never been riden (is that a word?) before. Then my boyfriend came to surprise me at the room and he heard you singing from outside of the door and he went to get his boys that were down in the truck to come up and handle this. They bust into the door and you ran out the hotel and down the street. I was that redbone screaming for the offensive linebackers to stop chasing you. I tried to explain that nothing had happened as I was secretly wishing that I would have gotten your number cause you were something that I wanted to make happen.
I knew your red a$$ looked familiar!!! Trouble maker!!!
So what's up with finishing that ride?! LOL
Pink Lady I took a couple of those mothers home with me.
i'm so confused... lol
We can finish the ride tomorrow. : )
LMAO...This is funny as hell!!!! GP you are a mess. DDot don't play dumb. I remember that night too. I thought you had a nice ass. That was the 2nd time I had met you.
The 1st time I met you was on Georgia Ave. You were coming out of Popeye's and I was coming down Florida Ave. I pulled my pink ski mask down over my face and pushed a gun into your side. Next thing I know you started crying. I told you to shut the fuck up and give me your wallet. Then I punched you because you was eatin that greasy bull-shit and the sobbing grew louder. You gave me your wallet which had $3 in it. There were a few credit cards so I told your ass you were taking me shopping. We got in your car and I took off the mask. I didn't want to look suspcious when we rolled into Georgetown to shop. The night of retail torture I'd planned somehow turned into fun. After a few hours I was able to put the gun away. You actually enjoyed buying my cloths and shoes. You took a special liking to selecting underwear. After we maxed out all of your credit cards, I had no further use for you. You insisted on seeing me again for another shopping adventure, so I took your info. That's how I was invited to your party when you took the X.
Anyway, when are we going shopping again?
Laalaa and Mizpowderpink I have a damn tear in my eye..lol!
Powderpink you just roasted his ass! Oh man, I can't stop laughing.
Rell...po baby, bless your heart :)
Can you continue???
Don't you remember me? Aren't we twins? I thought only our mother could tell us apart?
let's go!!!
D-dot D-dot D-dot...here your loyal subjects are waiting for your response to Pink's inquiry and we get nothing.
Redbone stops by and BAM reply in 2 seconds *Shaking my head*
Now why are yopu starting stuff Hapee?!!!
I'm going to respond to MPP just give me a second. My real job has me busy.
uh huh....i got ESPN lol
You called him on that Mwabi. LMAO
MPP we can go shopping anytime! It concerns me that you forgot about the a$$less chaps we bought you for that night as well as the mask and whip. Girl you are into some freaky stuff. I mean i was down with the whole role play thing and you pulling the gun on me but tying you up and whipping you wasn't my cup of tea but I did it anyway because I aim to please! And what was up with you stealing my boxers?! All you had to do was ask for them. Geez. You are a trip girl!!!
lol...Hapwabi put you on blast, you know he has fear of the coco...boy I thought my little speech sunk in.
I was a bad girl for pulling that gun and I needed to be taught a lesson :-), but that was suppose to be our secret.
The King appreciates the beauty of women all shapes, sizes, colors, and shades!!!
Meghaloni are you sure Ddot did not leave during the night? I would not have trusted him.
GP stop fronting! You trust me with your life!
Whatever Jackie. I don't show any sort of favoritism. Do I?
yeah..no favoritism at all D-dot!
The way your mind works completley amazes me. LOVE IT!
I remember that time I ran into you in the club in New Orleans and we didnt' say a word. You grabbed my hand and I just knew you wanted to follow me to my hotel. We walked through the french quarter holding hands and that's all I remember. You weren't there the next morning. I guess you had to catch your flight. Until we meet again.
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