Friday, March 23, 2007
A very Literate Conversation
I read a story yesterday that really bothered me. I emailed the link to my co-worker and friend Nico. Below I've posted his response to me saying that it's a shame that a city that is majority black having such a hard time right in the nations capital and below that is my response to his response. Does that make sense? Good. Again this went through company email so we were quite tame. Let me know what your thoughts are and as always..... Enjoy.
You are telling the truth but you know a lot of the parents don’t even care that their children are the majority and that the city is rigged with crime and illiteracy.
Most African-American males prefer to think they will become rap stars someday; the girls would like to dance in their videos and while this it is good to have a dream, it is also good to learn one or two things just in case. So you have a backup plan. Most kids are dropping out and taking to the streets and joining gangs. And the Gang leaders are out there roving the streets recruiting young impressionable minds that need a better example to emulate. If a young African American man doesn’t wear tee shirts three times his size, with pants hanging off the bottom of their ankles, they are looked at funny and called Cosby kids. The girls prefer to be with gangsters and have children all over with numerous men at very tender ages.
Most men don’t take charge of their families. Most even abandon their children and do what it takes to own that new Cadillac and they throw some D’s on it, rather than pay child support that will enable their children buy school books. Mothers let their children who are barely able to walk watch TV videos that objectify women and tell them to pop it, lock it and drop it, as a means of babysitting the children.
It is a lamentable situation, and when Bill Cosby wants to bring people’s attention to it, they ridicule him and rout his persistent aim and sensitizing the people who have been taken advantage of for 500 years (slavery and colonialism) and are still being taken advantage of as I write. It sucks but that is the reality in which we live.
We have to wake up and smell the coffee and although many are trying to do that, the vast majority just doesn’t care. Martin Luther, Malcolm X etc died for nothing. To young men and women today, these people signify nothing. Calling their brothers niggas just as the white man did. Busting a cap on their own brothers. Drive buy shootings, etc .This is what living in the city has been relegated to. And who lives in the city, the niggas that don’t want to work or learn. The niggas that really don’t have an excuse for standing in the street corner all day shooting dice and relying on the tax money of the few hardworking men and women of their kind (call it welfare).
It is sad but then again. A chacun son lit! As you make your bed, so shall you lie on it.
This is a very interesting take on the situation. Let's take another look as well. We live in the richest country in the world. We have spent billions of dollars in Iraq the past 4 years. The exact amount of time it takes for a student to get through high school. So let's not blame the victims here! Are there irresponsible men and women in the black community? Yes. Just as there are in every community including Karl Rove and George Bush in the white community. But for some reason irresponsible white men are the most powerful men in the world while Tyrone from D.C. can't read. It doesn't mean that Tyrone isn't smart. No! They spend as little money as possible to educate these children while they turn their heads as crack fill the city streets. If a young child grows up with two parents who are drug addicts and makes it out then they are the exception! They aren't exposed to anything outside a 50 mile radius and so they think that wearing their pants hanging off their butt is what they are SUPPOSED to do. They sleep in horrendous conditions and are privy to things that you and I would squirm at if we saw it on a movie screen. So when Jay-Z comes on TV and says he made it out of the ghetto and he drives this car and wears these clothes while he's standing next to Beyonce then of course that's who they want to be like!
So it wasn't exactly what Mr. Cosby said but how he said it and whom he said it to. He was condescending and really didn't put the onus of the problem on the correct people. Black people aren't inherently violent nor are they born with an inability to learn as fast as others. In fact we adapt better than any people on this planet. We turn sh*t to sugar and then others come along and profit off of it. White boys in Iowa wear there pants hanging off their butts too. They call their college bound girlfriends b*tches and ho*s just like the boys in D.C. The white boys learned that stuff from watching music videos. You see white men like Clive Davis and Jimmy Iovine saw that despite the fact that these impoverished and illiterate men were at an extreme disadvantage they made it cool and not only that but they made it MARKETABLE. Ahh capitalism at it's best. They sold 50 Cent to the masses as a young black man who didn’t have a mother or a father and had been shot 9 times. They was the crux of their marketing plan. Interesting isn't it. 50 Cent has proven to be quite the business man himself. He earned almost 100 million dollars last year. Not from record sales but from the running of his own company. Of course if he made 100 million somebody else made 200 million because of him.
The point? A kid who isn't being taught values from his parents because his parents weren't taught values and the importance of education is going to look at Theo Huxtable on the Cosby show as an anomaly, him and the whole family just seem odd or out of place because he's never met anybody like that. The show is a fantasy. But he sees guys like Ludacris everyday on his block. There's a guy in the apartment above him that can rap just as good or better than Snoop Dogg. But he's functional illiterate. Biggie Smalls is universally recognized as a musical genius. Some of the words and phrases that young man put together were unbelievable. He never graduated high school. You'll never see graduation pictures of the CEO and President of Def Jam either because Jay-Z never finished high school. It just so happens that these two and a few others get a chance to show exactly how smart they are and can be if a given a chance. But in reality there are a million Jay-Zs across this country and there are easily 10 or 12 standing on a corner or in a crack house in D.C. as I type this email. So let's not judge these babies of victims and these grandchildren of victims let's look at the real enemy, the real irresponsible men who continue to allow some of our best and our brightest just sit on a corner blocks away from the richest and most powerful buildings in the world!
You are telling the truth but you know a lot of the parents don’t even care that their children are the majority and that the city is rigged with crime and illiteracy.
Most African-American males prefer to think they will become rap stars someday; the girls would like to dance in their videos and while this it is good to have a dream, it is also good to learn one or two things just in case. So you have a backup plan. Most kids are dropping out and taking to the streets and joining gangs. And the Gang leaders are out there roving the streets recruiting young impressionable minds that need a better example to emulate. If a young African American man doesn’t wear tee shirts three times his size, with pants hanging off the bottom of their ankles, they are looked at funny and called Cosby kids. The girls prefer to be with gangsters and have children all over with numerous men at very tender ages.
Most men don’t take charge of their families. Most even abandon their children and do what it takes to own that new Cadillac and they throw some D’s on it, rather than pay child support that will enable their children buy school books. Mothers let their children who are barely able to walk watch TV videos that objectify women and tell them to pop it, lock it and drop it, as a means of babysitting the children.
It is a lamentable situation, and when Bill Cosby wants to bring people’s attention to it, they ridicule him and rout his persistent aim and sensitizing the people who have been taken advantage of for 500 years (slavery and colonialism) and are still being taken advantage of as I write. It sucks but that is the reality in which we live.
We have to wake up and smell the coffee and although many are trying to do that, the vast majority just doesn’t care. Martin Luther, Malcolm X etc died for nothing. To young men and women today, these people signify nothing. Calling their brothers niggas just as the white man did. Busting a cap on their own brothers. Drive buy shootings, etc .This is what living in the city has been relegated to. And who lives in the city, the niggas that don’t want to work or learn. The niggas that really don’t have an excuse for standing in the street corner all day shooting dice and relying on the tax money of the few hardworking men and women of their kind (call it welfare).
It is sad but then again. A chacun son lit! As you make your bed, so shall you lie on it.
This is a very interesting take on the situation. Let's take another look as well. We live in the richest country in the world. We have spent billions of dollars in Iraq the past 4 years. The exact amount of time it takes for a student to get through high school. So let's not blame the victims here! Are there irresponsible men and women in the black community? Yes. Just as there are in every community including Karl Rove and George Bush in the white community. But for some reason irresponsible white men are the most powerful men in the world while Tyrone from D.C. can't read. It doesn't mean that Tyrone isn't smart. No! They spend as little money as possible to educate these children while they turn their heads as crack fill the city streets. If a young child grows up with two parents who are drug addicts and makes it out then they are the exception! They aren't exposed to anything outside a 50 mile radius and so they think that wearing their pants hanging off their butt is what they are SUPPOSED to do. They sleep in horrendous conditions and are privy to things that you and I would squirm at if we saw it on a movie screen. So when Jay-Z comes on TV and says he made it out of the ghetto and he drives this car and wears these clothes while he's standing next to Beyonce then of course that's who they want to be like!
So it wasn't exactly what Mr. Cosby said but how he said it and whom he said it to. He was condescending and really didn't put the onus of the problem on the correct people. Black people aren't inherently violent nor are they born with an inability to learn as fast as others. In fact we adapt better than any people on this planet. We turn sh*t to sugar and then others come along and profit off of it. White boys in Iowa wear there pants hanging off their butts too. They call their college bound girlfriends b*tches and ho*s just like the boys in D.C. The white boys learned that stuff from watching music videos. You see white men like Clive Davis and Jimmy Iovine saw that despite the fact that these impoverished and illiterate men were at an extreme disadvantage they made it cool and not only that but they made it MARKETABLE. Ahh capitalism at it's best. They sold 50 Cent to the masses as a young black man who didn’t have a mother or a father and had been shot 9 times. They was the crux of their marketing plan. Interesting isn't it. 50 Cent has proven to be quite the business man himself. He earned almost 100 million dollars last year. Not from record sales but from the running of his own company. Of course if he made 100 million somebody else made 200 million because of him.
The point? A kid who isn't being taught values from his parents because his parents weren't taught values and the importance of education is going to look at Theo Huxtable on the Cosby show as an anomaly, him and the whole family just seem odd or out of place because he's never met anybody like that. The show is a fantasy. But he sees guys like Ludacris everyday on his block. There's a guy in the apartment above him that can rap just as good or better than Snoop Dogg. But he's functional illiterate. Biggie Smalls is universally recognized as a musical genius. Some of the words and phrases that young man put together were unbelievable. He never graduated high school. You'll never see graduation pictures of the CEO and President of Def Jam either because Jay-Z never finished high school. It just so happens that these two and a few others get a chance to show exactly how smart they are and can be if a given a chance. But in reality there are a million Jay-Zs across this country and there are easily 10 or 12 standing on a corner or in a crack house in D.C. as I type this email. So let's not judge these babies of victims and these grandchildren of victims let's look at the real enemy, the real irresponsible men who continue to allow some of our best and our brightest just sit on a corner blocks away from the richest and most powerful buildings in the world!
Monday, January 22, 2007
Soul Bowl...
Congratulations to Tony Dungy of the Indianopolis Colts and Lovie Smith of the Chicago Bears for becoming the first two black head coaches to coach in a Super Bowl. So let me get this straight, black players play the game really well AND they understand it well enough to teach others? GET OUTTA HERE!!! Lovie got his first job working under Tony. Herm Edwards the head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs who also made the playoffs also used to work under Tony as did the recently hired new head coach of the Pitssburgh Steelers Mike Tomlin. So not only is Tony a good football man he's got some awesome HR skills to boot. I'm pretty sure somebody will suggest that we make his birthday a national holiday soon.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
One Week Later...
Surprise surprise!!! It's been one week since you went and voted for all you favorite democratic candidates. Anything in your life changed yet? I didn't think so. Maybe we should give them another week. Maybe two. Maybe ol' Ddot is just impatient and we should give them 6 months to get things together. Or maybe folks need to wake up and realize that no matter who is in control things are never perfect and usually get worse despite good intentions by some.
Damn I'm pessimistic.
Nah I'm just realistic. This country is well over 200 years old and the change of power goes back and forth between this group and that group and yet if you ask anybody 30 plus they'll tell you that things constantly get worse despite advances in science and technology. Odd isn't it? I graduated high school in 1994. The bad kids were the dudes that smoked in the bathroom or maybe left school to get lunch from McDonalds. If there was a fight in school it was big news. Now at my old school the kids walk through metal detectors and have a police officer on duty. Same school just a little over ten years later. Amazing. My point? It doesn't really matter. The democrats will ensure you make more money per hour and then tax the crap out of you to start social programs. The republicans cut taxes(especially for the rich) so that you get more money on your check and cut programs because they believe you should do what you want with your money. Both interesting points of view and obviously neither is overwhelmingly better than the other. So keep your vote or die t-shirts. I know plenty of people who voted and died anyway. One.
Monday, November 13, 2006
The Redefinition...Lesson 2...
You think you know what a man is. But you've been brainwashed. You watch too much television, too many movies. Put away those romance novels. I'm redefining what it is to be a real man. Take notes and witness the maturation of a KING.
A real man doesn't need to put 24 inch rims on his SUV. He's secure enough in his manhood to not crave the unnecessary attention. Is that the dude you're drawn to? Then you deserve what you get. I pull up with no tint on my windows listening to some smooth r&b or jazz. Am I boring to you? Then you deserve what you get. Do you spend all your time adding friends to your Myspace page? Well while you're adding random dudes with 10 year old pictures on their profiles to your Myspace I'm carving out my space in this world. Does it turn you on when your "thug" pulls out a wad of cash from his jeans that are falling off his butt? Cool. I rarely carry cash. I settle for platinum and black cards. Yeah a real man has good credit. You have a baby by him and wonder why he doesn't pay child support after full well knowing he didn't pay his bills before the kid came along. You deserve what you get. So what have we learned here today?
A real man doesn't need to put 24 inch rims on his SUV. He's secure enough in his manhood to not crave the unnecessary attention. Is that the dude you're drawn to? Then you deserve what you get. I pull up with no tint on my windows listening to some smooth r&b or jazz. Am I boring to you? Then you deserve what you get. Do you spend all your time adding friends to your Myspace page? Well while you're adding random dudes with 10 year old pictures on their profiles to your Myspace I'm carving out my space in this world. Does it turn you on when your "thug" pulls out a wad of cash from his jeans that are falling off his butt? Cool. I rarely carry cash. I settle for platinum and black cards. Yeah a real man has good credit. You have a baby by him and wonder why he doesn't pay child support after full well knowing he didn't pay his bills before the kid came along. You deserve what you get. So what have we learned here today?
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The Redefinition...Lesson 1...
Lesson 1.
You think you know what a man is. But you've been brainwashed. You watch too much television, too many movies. Put away those romance novels. I'm redefining what it is to be a real man. Take notes.
I don't raise my voice and threaten to "go upside your head" because my mother taught me to respect women not because I'm soft or weak. Further more I respect myself and I would never jeapordize my livlihood or my freedom so that you can see my eyes red and my nostrils flare. A man knows himself inside and out. He realizes that he can whip your ass and therefore has no need to actually do it. A man will not let you define the type of man he is within.
You think you know what a man is. But you've been brainwashed. You watch too much television, too many movies. Put away those romance novels. I'm redefining what it is to be a real man. Take notes.
I don't raise my voice and threaten to "go upside your head" because my mother taught me to respect women not because I'm soft or weak. Further more I respect myself and I would never jeapordize my livlihood or my freedom so that you can see my eyes red and my nostrils flare. A man knows himself inside and out. He realizes that he can whip your ass and therefore has no need to actually do it. A man will not let you define the type of man he is within.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
A Happy Day...
My Pop and I along with my sister. All of us with the same sense of humor and wit. We had a blast.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Random Thought Friday....KINGDOM COME
When the page finally opened and you saw the words you felt butterflies in your stomach. What is the b-l-o-g without the D-d-o-t? Yeah it's the blog world's savior, so after this post you might owe me a favor. Every email I open is saying "Yo D you're wack!" "Whatever happened to THE KING? He was the coldest cat!" "Get your swag back daddy, where's your focus at?" But despite that, yeah your boy is back.
I've been reading. I've been working. Oddly enough, I've been writing. You can learn so much if you just watch and listen. Well now I'm so enlightened I could probably glow in the dark.
I keep hearing "Hurry up D, you breathe it and we need it!" So the first post back will be my most popular post, Random Thought Friday. There are much bigger issues in the world, I know. But first I had to take care of the world I know.
I had a bit of a creative drought. But it was nothing different from when I was 21 and hustling down south. I re-upped and the reward is you get to revel in my royalty and read the randomness that pops into my head this morning. Damn I'm nice and this while I'm still yawning.
If you're new or forgot, random thought friday consists of me typing out whatever pops into my head until my boss walks by and asks for a report or I get tired of typing and go outside and take a nap in my car. So by the power vested in me I pronounce you a reader of...RANDOM THOUGHT FRIDAY!!!
Grey's Anatomy is the best thing on television.
All the chicks on that show are hot.
Go see The Departed. You'll thank me.
A lot of bloggers are getting together this weekend during Howard's Homecoming. Which means I'm going to break the world record for the most people screwed whom you met on the internet.
Jay-Z's new single "Show Me What You Got" sucks balls.
I'm getting a new supervisor on Monday morning. I have no idea what to expect. But I know her office is going to be right behind my desk. My internet fun might be cut in half.
Have you seen Madonna lately? If she wasn't Madonna and was trying to get into show business at best she is the ugly mom on the laundry commercial with frazzled hair because the leading brand just won't cut it. The sexy mom with the tight sweater already knows this, and that's why her kids hug her at the park.
The Redskins are frustrating the crap out of me this year!
I'm stuck in an office with a bunch of middle aged women going through menopause. They are all having hot flashes at the same time. I have an icicle hanging from my nose as I type this.
I wonder how many times someone is going to bring up today being Friday the 13th. I should start packing my pistol.
Google Talk needs to add a conference option.
How can a educational system designed in the late 1800s be expected to be effective in 2006?
I can't stand people who are irritable for no reason. Irks the crap out of me.
Google bought You Tube. Good for the three creators of You Tube, bad for the rest of us.
There's a new girl in the office and Kang has lost his mind.
If you know any Africans ask them to make you a Scottish Egg. Trust me.
I say T.O. is kicked off the Cowboys no later than November 18th.
Alright we have too many big wigs running around here today so I can't really dig in to my ish. Yall have a great weekend and for everybody partying in D.C. this weekend please remember that D.C.'s AIDS rate is 10 times higher than the national average! And I'm out!
I've been reading. I've been working. Oddly enough, I've been writing. You can learn so much if you just watch and listen. Well now I'm so enlightened I could probably glow in the dark.
I keep hearing "Hurry up D, you breathe it and we need it!" So the first post back will be my most popular post, Random Thought Friday. There are much bigger issues in the world, I know. But first I had to take care of the world I know.
I had a bit of a creative drought. But it was nothing different from when I was 21 and hustling down south. I re-upped and the reward is you get to revel in my royalty and read the randomness that pops into my head this morning. Damn I'm nice and this while I'm still yawning.
If you're new or forgot, random thought friday consists of me typing out whatever pops into my head until my boss walks by and asks for a report or I get tired of typing and go outside and take a nap in my car. So by the power vested in me I pronounce you a reader of...RANDOM THOUGHT FRIDAY!!!
Grey's Anatomy is the best thing on television.
All the chicks on that show are hot.
Go see The Departed. You'll thank me.
A lot of bloggers are getting together this weekend during Howard's Homecoming. Which means I'm going to break the world record for the most people screwed whom you met on the internet.
Jay-Z's new single "Show Me What You Got" sucks balls.
I'm getting a new supervisor on Monday morning. I have no idea what to expect. But I know her office is going to be right behind my desk. My internet fun might be cut in half.
Have you seen Madonna lately? If she wasn't Madonna and was trying to get into show business at best she is the ugly mom on the laundry commercial with frazzled hair because the leading brand just won't cut it. The sexy mom with the tight sweater already knows this, and that's why her kids hug her at the park.
The Redskins are frustrating the crap out of me this year!
I'm stuck in an office with a bunch of middle aged women going through menopause. They are all having hot flashes at the same time. I have an icicle hanging from my nose as I type this.
I wonder how many times someone is going to bring up today being Friday the 13th. I should start packing my pistol.
Google Talk needs to add a conference option.
How can a educational system designed in the late 1800s be expected to be effective in 2006?
I can't stand people who are irritable for no reason. Irks the crap out of me.
Google bought You Tube. Good for the three creators of You Tube, bad for the rest of us.
There's a new girl in the office and Kang has lost his mind.
If you know any Africans ask them to make you a Scottish Egg. Trust me.
I say T.O. is kicked off the Cowboys no later than November 18th.
Alright we have too many big wigs running around here today so I can't really dig in to my ish. Yall have a great weekend and for everybody partying in D.C. this weekend please remember that D.C.'s AIDS rate is 10 times higher than the national average! And I'm out!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I'll Be Back...
Nope I'm not Arnold Swarzanegger but I'll be back on Monday Oct. 9, 2006 with a regular daily serving of nonsense. Set your calendars!!!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Shits & Giggles...
Now this is just too funny. It's rare that anybody can really make me laugh but this video had me rolling. Enjoy.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Say Goodbye
We're losing 3 minutes of daylight everyday. They are screwing up *You Tube and after reading **Nikki's blog there are just so many other things to be doing including spending time with folks you love. I've stayed away from my blog more than ever the past few weeks and suprisingly I didn't really miss it. I missed some of my e-friends but not the blog. So girl it's not you, it's me. But everyone knows my M.O. I might leave for awhile but I'll resurface sooner or later. Until then say goodnight to the bad guy.
*I'd advise using Google Video since they are deleting so many videos from You tube. What is cool about Google Video is you can post the videos straight to your blog while watching it. One.
** I know what you're going through is tough. It truly is never the right time to say goodbye. Just remember that death ends a life, not a relationship. I've got your back for whatever you need and whenever you need it. That's still true with you too GP.
Peace & Love
Monday, September 18, 2006
Jay-Z Friday Night
Here's a video of that thief Jay-Z performing Friday night in Amsterdam if any of yall are interested. And I'm starting a petition to get a producer credit on this new album he's dropping!
Y'all rapping-ass niggas, y'all funny to me
Selling records, being you but still you want to be me
I guess for every buck you make it's like a hundred for me
And still you running around thinking you got something on
me
But I done did it
And y'all want to take my flow, and run with it
That's cool, I was the first one with it
Original, Kings the future, flow digital
Still busting a gat when she gets critical
Sit it down, I don't want y'all to get it confused
I rip it down, like I ain't got nothing to lose--------Jay-Z Imaginary Player
Y'all rapping-ass niggas, y'all funny to me
Selling records, being you but still you want to be me
I guess for every buck you make it's like a hundred for me
And still you running around thinking you got something on
me
But I done did it
And y'all want to take my flow, and run with it
That's cool, I was the first one with it
Original, Kings the future, flow digital
Still busting a gat when she gets critical
Sit it down, I don't want y'all to get it confused
I rip it down, like I ain't got nothing to lose--------Jay-Z Imaginary Player
Friday, September 15, 2006
Thought...
Nope not Random Thoughts. Just one, thought.
It's been 3 years since Jay-Z dropped an album. In the new edition of Entertainment Weekly he says that for 2 years he believed that he would stay retired. Which means something happened in the last year to inspire him to get back to doing what he does best. Any guesses as to what that could be? Try a certain smooth, sexy, chocolatey blogger that calls himself Ddot the King. Yep it's all me baby. Get this, he's naming his new album KINGDOM COME.
Yeah like that's a coincedence.
This cat wants to be me so bad that it hurts. Don't get me wrong I'm flattered but people bite my style all the time for free. At least a dude that's going to probably go platinum the day his album comes out could give me a shout out in his "Thank You" section or something! For all you readers that were born after 1990, a Thank You section is where the artist thanks all those who helped him complete the album and what not. I know yall young folks just download the albums so I felt I needed to explain. Anyway so Jay now that I know you're reading this I'd like for the Thank You to read something like this : And a very special thank you to my hero and inspiration Ddot who entertained me while I pretended to be President of Def Jam. And D I want to apologize for interrupting you and Beyonce that night, I truly forgot that it was your weekend to spend with her. By the way how did you get her in that position? I never knew she was so flexible! You're the greatest! -S. Carter.
*UPDATE*
Ok so Jay even gave the EW reporter a little piece of his first single:
And then he launches into an impromptu a cappella preview of the title track, which was inspired by a 1996 comic in which Superman comes out of retirement to save the world. The lyrics that effortlessly roll off his tongue may help explain his return: ''Take off the blazer/Loosen up the tie/Step inside the booth/Superman is alive!''
So without further ado, let us welcome, and celebrate, the return of Jay-Z, a.k.a. Jigga, a.k.a. Hova. He is, arguably, the most powerful man in the music business but without his music, well, he's just Clark Kent.
Hmmm...Superman. Superman? Is that right Jay? Superman huh. Ok I can dig that. And the reporter calls him Clark Kent when his at the office. Wow you two guys have really stumbled up on something. The only problem is that I said this months ago. Jay is stealing my stuff man. I know it and yall know it. If you don't remember then just click HERE!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Why I Haven't Posted...
I haven't posted because I've been walking the earth like Caine from Kung Fu. Ok so what if it's not the actual Earth! It's the internet eart and I bet I can cover a lof more ground than that little kung fu dude did. At any rate like Sam from Quantum Leap I'm leaping from blog to blog and life to life making right what once went wrong.
Hold on, I'll be right back.
Monday, September 11, 2006
GP, Quote, & Links
First and foremost The Palace would like to send their condolences to Ms. Georgia Peach and her family. Her mother passed on Friday. GP the entire Kingdom's thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. I don't have a myspace account so I can't leave notes on her page but I know that some of yall do so hit her up and let her know that you're thinking about her.Today's quote: "Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others." - Jules Renard
I think this is going to be my new favorite site for celebrity pictures and jokes. State of Hate
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The Mailbag...
Ok so now that I've confused the hell out of yall with my last two or three posts I'm back to my normal nonsense. Don't get me wrong I love knowing that yall are reading my ish and you get wrnkles in your forehead and and audibly say "huh?". That stuff makes my day. But unfortunately instead of yall just clicking the NEXT BLOG tab you decide to email the good King your questions. I expect a lot of emails when I post weird stuff but yall took it to another level the past week. But as any good King should I am here to answer all your questions and provide insight into my weirdness. On to the mailbag!
What in the hell is that complex about? Better yet WHO is that complex post about?
Yo mama. Ok seriously it's not about or directed at anybody. I read a poem about complexes and I adapted it into my own blog version. So many conspiracy theorists so little time.
Your blog used to be jumping! Where is everybody?
Well I still get the same amount of hits but everybody has seem to have gotten more comfortable emailing me once they read a post instead of commenting. Beats me. The other part of it is I have intentionally ran some people off because they are nerve racking. I need fresh meat around here.
You used to be so cute and now you seem too serious most days. What happened?
I could be cuter, but only if I change my template to a scene where there is a baby tiger and a baby panda dressed in little Halloween costumes in the background. The tiger would be dressed as a pirate and the panda would be a ghost in a sheet with holes cut out for eyes. And then they went to the house and the person ran out of candy after giving candy to the baby pirate tiger, so the baby ghost panda didn't get any, so then the baby pirate tiger would share his candy with the baby ghost panda. Other than that, I think the cuteness is pretty much maxed out.
What are you doing over there?!
Well for the past few weeks I've basically spent my days feeding Alicia Keys grapes and sipping the finest of wines while Mya bites my toenails. That's just how I live except instead of banging beautiful R& B chicks I was looking around to see if any one saw me drop my doughnut on the ground. Cause I only had like one bite. I mean, it's practically a brand new doughnut.
Have you heard that Beyonce calls Jay-Z "Pop Pop"?
Yes and that means she probably calls him Papi when they are intimate. Which means my hate for that nigga grows more by the second. I've actually been working on a plan to get rid of Jay-Z. Here's my plan so far: kill Jay-Z. Ta-da! He's a rapper for goodness sakes. I could shoot him on the senate floor and wouldn't serve a day.
If you keep pissing people off someone is going to assasinate you!
Ok I had to edit that email just a tad so as to not have you guys worried about me. Basically I was threatened by some anonymous jerk. To you sir or madam I say, they have classes for people who have convinced themselves that they are tough over the internet. In "real life" I'm the guy that would take your wallet and play keep away with my friends while you jump back and forth between us. I'd then give you a super wedgie, smack your glasses off your face and kick you in the butt as you went to pick them up. Yeah I'm that guy. In. Real. Life. Let that marinate before you hit that send button next time.
I hate reading blogs like this. I can't stand your pimp daddy/ebonic type of speech. And you really think that's sexy?!
I sho'll do!
I've never heard you mention anything about Christina Milian. Do you think she's attractive?
She's cute but she dated Nick Cannon which means she's got to be a weirdo. She just seems a little ditsy to me. Normally women can at least be good for baking me a pie and fetching my slippers, but I wouldn't even trust Ms. Milian to do that right. I'd almost certainly end up with scalding hot pie on my feet.
Who is the Memo from the King post about? I won't tell anybody if you tell me although I have a pretty good idea who it's about.
No you don't have a clue. It's directed to a chick that I've been reading but she's only commented on my blog about 3 times and so she's not a regular but I like her anyway. Trust me she knows who she is and that's all that matters.
Do you have Beyonce's new album and if so can you send it to me?
Yes and her new album is slightly better than a siren, but still well below video poker music. I would only send it to you if you really pissed me off. 3 decent songs, maybe 4. I still love you B!
Do you have any tattoos?
Nope my skin is far too precious to be drawing silly characters and funny looking chinses letters on it. I like looking at other people tattoos though. Like Jessica Alba has a bow on the small of her back, apparently to unwrap my dreams.
Sorry I haven't been by your spot in a minute. I'm a little depressed. I can't seem to find a good man and I haven't had sex in ages. LOL! I don't know why I'm telling you all this, I'm sure you wouldn't be interested in a high yellow lady with a backside like a M60 Patton, or would you? LOL! Just kidding!
We don't "kid" like that around here maam. First of all you used "high yellow"
and "M60 Patton" in the same sentence which is a turn on all by itself. I know you're hurting baby girl so I'd like to mention that my semen is said to have healing properties. I'm not sure if it can heal a broken heart, but once it even gave a blind parapelegic girl the ability to see and jump around. And scream. And dial a phone. Although ... wait ... now that I think about, that girl might have just been asleep. Well that's all folks. I promise no more weird posts. Ok that's a stretch. How about no hair scratching posts? Cool. It's a deal. I'm on a mission baby and I'm bringing the heavy ammunition! Stay tuned!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Wireless Zone...
I'll be posting something soon but right now I'm over here spending my money trying to find a new phone and plan. They have the best deals I've found online so go get one! Enjoy and you can thank me later.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Memo From The King...
I've been reading a lot of blogs recently and it turns out a lot of yall are quite interesting. I kind of feel bad for ignoring your requests to stop by sooner. Oh well we live and we learn right? Right. So anyway I've decided to offer some advice or contructive criticism to a few of you. You're welcome. What I'm really doing is very cleverly ripping off Nikki's August 1 post but if you don't tell then I won't. The names have been deleted to protect the guilty, weird, and insane.
1. You're first on the list as I read your blog this morning and you are the impetus of this post. I think you are probably cool people but you whine and complain too much. That ish gets old as hell. Any problem that you have is blamed on "the way you were raised". Give that nonsense up man. Take some responsibilty for your own actions and thoughts. You even claim that you look down on others simply because you were taught to think a certain way. We have the same background and although I rebelled against it too it wasn't because they were wrong. It was because I decided to do what I wanted to do. You've decided to go in a different direction with your life and if that's the case then fine but why are you so hung up on the past? Let it go. You even devote time to trying to prove that the way you were raised was wrong. A lot of people like you do that. Just like the original one that rebelled you just can't seem to let it go. Why? Because deep down you know the truth. I take naps on saturdays all the time and have never felt guilty. In fact I sleep like a baby.
Ok after I thought about it number 1 is the only person I wanted to say something about. I am so judgemental!!! Actually I just don't like whiners.
1. You're first on the list as I read your blog this morning and you are the impetus of this post. I think you are probably cool people but you whine and complain too much. That ish gets old as hell. Any problem that you have is blamed on "the way you were raised". Give that nonsense up man. Take some responsibilty for your own actions and thoughts. You even claim that you look down on others simply because you were taught to think a certain way. We have the same background and although I rebelled against it too it wasn't because they were wrong. It was because I decided to do what I wanted to do. You've decided to go in a different direction with your life and if that's the case then fine but why are you so hung up on the past? Let it go. You even devote time to trying to prove that the way you were raised was wrong. A lot of people like you do that. Just like the original one that rebelled you just can't seem to let it go. Why? Because deep down you know the truth. I take naps on saturdays all the time and have never felt guilty. In fact I sleep like a baby.
Ok after I thought about it number 1 is the only person I wanted to say something about. I am so judgemental!!! Actually I just don't like whiners.
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