The Connection...

You will be different, sometimes you'll feel like an outcast, but you'll never be alone. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father and the father becomes the son.

It was the summer of 1987. It was a much simpler time. I had no idea that Boy George and George Michael were singing to men nor that Michael Jackson was singing to little boys. I was 11 years old and convinced that Shemika Martin was going to be my wife. One of the few things that I thought my dad and I had in common was our love of the movies. I remember hinting around to him all week that Superman IV was coming out over the weekend and that we could go to a matinee to save a couple of dollars. You see by the time I was 8 I knew that appealing to my dad's frugal side was a win-win situation for everybody. I also reminded him of the video game in the theater called Ikari Warriors that he loved to play. Back then I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that a grown man would enjoy video games.

You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father and the father becomes the son.

Fast forward almost 20 years to July 06. I'm in my guest room where my dad is sleeping and where my PS2 resides. I'm playing GTA: San Andreas and my dad is over my shoulder barking instructions like "Go left!" "Shoot him!" and "Boy you can't drive!" It took 19 years but it just hit me that I too am a grown man that loves video games. My brother wasn't there to divert his attention and we didn't need to keep getting quarters to play. It was just then that I was able to myself in his shoes 20 years earlier. I saw his life through my eyes.

Monday afternoon when I got home from a hard days work I found him chilling on the couch watching television. I was tempted to ask him if he had taken out the trash the way he would've done me back in the day when he would get home from work but I let him slide. He sat up and informed me that he had washed the dishes and that he was wondering if we could go see Superman the next night. The son had become the father and the father had became the son. Yesterday when I got home we went straight to the theater hoping to catch an early show so we could pay matinee prices. Unfortunately we had to wait for a 7:10 show but it gave us time to sit and talk.

As we sat there in the lobby he asked me about my job and if I had any hobbies. Although I had mentioned my blog to him before it was never anything in detail. I decided to tell him more about it and to let him know that I have recently started freelance writing for a hip hop magazine. His reaction caught me off guard. He quickly sat up straight in the little red chair and said almost in a whisper "You know I always wanted to be a writer when I was younger." Now I sat up straight too. We were looking at each other like we had just met. Silence. The chit chatter of the people walking by slowly faded away as we both seemed to be suspended in time. I knew we were a lot a like but I'd never known about his desire towrite and he never knew it about me. Finally he broke the silence by telling me how he used his writing as therapy and how he still writes stuff down in a notebook he carries. He told me about the joy he got out of expressing himself in different ways as he wrote and how fulfilling it was even though he never received a dime for anything he had written and how some of his friends thought that he was odd for enjoying reading and writing. He asked did other people read the stuff I wrote on the internet and I told him all about My Loyal Subjects and he got more and more excited. We discussed the magazine I'm writing for and the time just flew by as I asked him questions and he asked me questions. Before we knew it the movie was starting.

You will make my strength your own...

In the last scene of the movie Superman says the quote at the beginning of this post. As he is saying it my dad reaches around and put is hands around the base of my neck and squeezed. It turns out I had missed the whole father/son message of the movie the first time I saw it but being there with my dad made it very clear. His approval and encouragement along with feeling his strong hand squeeze me with love was the first step in making his strength my own.