Ddot's Hip Hop Summit Part 2...

Ok everybody take a seat. Let's get this started. Welcome everybody to day 2 of my hip hop summit. I hope we can get into some deep issues today and perhaps make some progress.

Russell Simmons: Ddot I have asked Mase to pray before we get started.
Ddot: You can't be serious.
Russell Simmons: Yes I'm very serious.
Mase: What's the problem?
Ddot: The problem is you have a Bible in your hand and a gun on your waist with a spinning G-Unit chain AND a cross around your neck! I'm sorry but you will not be praying over THE KING!
Michael Jackson: C'mon fellas can't we all just get along?
dead silence falls on the room
Ddot: What the f*ck are you doing here?
Michael Jackson: What do you mean? Haven't you heard that I'm hip hop now? I'm down son!
Ddot: Ok Mike you can stay but Bow Wow and Lil Romeo will have to leave for their own safety.
Ddot: Ok on to the discussion! Let's here from dead prez since you guys were mentioned several times at the last summitt.
M-1(of dead prez): Thanks Ddot. I don't think rappers should be forced to give a positive message if that's not who they are.
Ddot: I think I see where you're going with this. Please continue.
M-1: If you smoke weed everyday and shoot at people then that's exactly what you should rap about.
stic man(of dead prez): Right. I ain't hating on anybody who's keeping it real but a lot of yall are faking it and these crackers are playing yall.
Rev Run: I agree. How many more times do we have to hear that 50 Cent got shot 9 times? Keep it funky.
Cam'Ron: I got shot too!
50 Cent: Yeah but you only got hit twice. I'm more gangsta than you.
Ddot: What kind of idiotic conversation is this? Anyway we have Mystikal on the phone from the Louisiana Correctional Facility. How's prison life Mystikal?
Mystikal: *weeping gently* let's just say I've been asked to "Shake it Fast" one too many times.
an uncomfortable silence fills the room

Ddot: Look Mystikal I'm going to hang up now and we'll just pretend this never happened. Ok? Nighty night... keep your butthole tight!!!
Ja Rule: That was wrong King.
Ddot: Who keeps letting you in?!
Jay-Z: Ddot I'm really feeling your new look. Oh and I heard your girl Jackie retired her site. I'm glad because I was tired of seeing my peoples getting embarrassed over there.
Ddot: Do you mean Beyonce Giselle Knowles? I know you didn't just refer to her as your peoples?! That's your woman! Treat her as such or I will take her from you. Jerk.
Jay-Z: Yeah I'm sure she'll leave me for you and your little blog.
Ddot: You know some things don't have to be said Jay. You could've kept that to yourself. Someone get me my Zoloft...
Russell Simmons: Can we get back on topic please?
Ddot: You're right Russell. Oh and by the way make sure Kimora cleans up that vomit in the ladies room. Now it is my opinion that hip hop has a responsibility in helping to shape our future and you guys have to take that seriously.
Young Jeezy: I agree and I have taken my role seriously. Did you know I opened my home to some of the Katrina victims?
Ddot: Yeah I heard about that. I also heard that you pay your son's mother less than 200 dollars a month in child support and rarely spend time with your son. No one's future should be more important to you than his.
Young Jeezy: Yeah but...
Ddot: Just quit while you're ahead son.
MC Lyte: I just want to say that all female emcees aren't sex crazed bimbos.
Da Brat: I'm so glad you said that Lyte. It's all about the lyrics.
MC Lyte: Bitch didn't I see you on 106 & Park pulling your pants down.
Da Brat: Yeah yeah but that's just to show that I'm a wild girl. It's not sexual.
MC Lyte: Anytime a grown woman pulls her pants down in front of a bunch of teenagers it's sexual. Get lost.
Suge Knight: Well since I've been very successful on the business side I'm open to any questions you guys might have.
Ddot: What happened to Pac?
Suge: I said business quest..
Ddot: What happened to Tupac?! Until you are ready to answer that question please keep your mouth shut.
Qtip: It's very frustrating to see the record company executives shaping our culture. They basically turn an artist into whoever they need them to be to sell records.
Ddot: So what can be done?
Jay-Z: Artists have to be true to who they are and learn the business side of things. With more of us running things the better off Hip Hop will be.
Ddot: Good point Jigga. Ok well we're going to stop here for today and let you guys go pop some Cristal and smoke some blunts. And hey no Jesus Juice for you Michael!!!!


Stay tuned for part 3 people....