Internet Gangstas, E-thugs, and Cyber Hustlaz...

*BREAKING NEWS*
One of the original members of THE DYNASTY is being booted. Danielle obviously has a persecution complex and she thinks everybody is out to get her. GP left some encouraging words for her and she snapped. Now she's been throwing mud on THE KING's good name all across cyberspace. I'm the wrong dude to be disparaging. I tried to be nice. I tried to remain neutral but you know what? You're just a crazy broad! Stop emailing me about GP!!! She has moved on. I have moved on and you're still trying to build up your little army and trying to get grown people to choose sides. I don't give a flying fig about you or your mother or the fact that GP called you trash. Beat it loser. Why did you email me telling me to "discipline" GP anyway?! Dang I'm not a REAL King chick! Ok you know what....GP give me your internet hand...INTERNET SMACK!!!....there now do you feel better you psycho? Notice I didn't say internet psycho. And to talk about me is one thing but to say that Jackie and BrownSoul and my other folks are gassed up by my lies and that we all hate you is just plain stupid. Nobody knows you!!! Heck I don't even know them! Although I plan on getting to know Jackie....biblically! Ahhh humor the great cure. Lighten up and stop acting like a 4 year old. Maybe that's why your mother doesn't want you around!!!!

*NEW AND NOW WITH MORE SUGAR*
Wait I got more. Then in your emails you try to make this a racial issue?! What the heck is that about?! The internet is make believe sweetie. NOBODY CARES!!!! "King why haven't you commented on my blog in months?" I'll tell you why because that crap is boring and stupid. Yeah I know I'm acting like a juvenile right now but I play up to the level of my competition. All that Possessed B*tch stuff is dumb. Nobody but other weirdos are going to keep putting up with that. Always complaining about how someone is doing you wrong. Boring. I should've peeped the persecution complex from that. "You are closer to GP than you are to me." D*amn right! She's just as nutty as they come but at least she's interesting. And she's pulled my card more than once on my blog and I didn't go crying to Leesa and Drea to stop associating with her. Changing my link name on your blog to "Can't Trust King" was the height of unintentional comedy. If any chick that reads my blog "trusts" me then they are just as crazy as you. I am just some guy on the internet for goodness sakes!!! Normally I wouldn't keep this going but you won't stop emailing me. I know that I have a magnetic personality and I am probably a father figure to you but you have taken this thing too far. "You and GP are just jealous because my blog destroys yours!" Are you serious? No, really...are you serious? People have to hold their nose when they come to my blog. Why? Because it's the sh*t! My spot is more entertaining than the crap you do even when I don't post for 2 weeks. And I'd rather look at GP's boyfriends painted toenails than hear another story about how your mother is so mean to you. I'd be mean to you too!!! Ok now I'm done. Nope wait a minute. One more thing. YOU SMELL LIKE CHEESE!!! Ahhh now I feel better. LOL!!!


I walk real cocky. I stare people down. I don't talk much which really makes people who do talk a lot feel uneasy. No this is not another diatribe about my greatness. In fact if you guys really knew me you'd know that I'm quite shy.

Yes I know it may come as a shock that I am not a social butterfly. But it's true. That is unless of course the Paxil has kicked in. As I said before I choose my words very carefully which I think is why so many people find my little blog here so interesting. It is also the place where I meet and socialize with people who come to be known as my internet friends. I realize that if I met some of these people in real life that we might not get along. Why? Well because a lot of people are fake. All my female readers ears just popped up. They know exactly what I'm talking about.



Yes you could hear this same conversation in the ladies room at any club, restaurant, or place of business. Not that I've ever been in the ladies room. Well ok that one time but the men's bathroom smelled like...well a men's bathroom and I just couldn't do it. Anyway as I was saying in my everyday life I only associate with people who are what I consider real. So I would think that the internet is no different. Yesterday I was confronted with a situation that irked me and then made me kind of chuckle and then irk me again.



Two of the people who I consider my blogger buddies are beefing. Big deal right? That's what I said too but it gets deeper. One of the bloggers gets so angry about the situation that she took the bold move of removing me and several other bloggers from her links because as she put it "I have to question anybody who associates with a person like that." Now that's funny to me. Like in the big scheme of things a person deleting my blog link from their blog is going to keep me awake at night. I am also a compassionate person so I take the person's feelings into consideration as well. If it bothers you that much then I won't make light of the situation. Back to the situation. Now apparently said "beef" started last Wednesday and was spread out on at least two blogs. If anybody has been to my blog in the last two weeks they probably know that I haven't been around much so I had no idea that any of this had even taken place. Not only that but a lot of the comments made had been deleted from my blogger buddy's blog. What is a King to do?!

Normally I stay out of beef. But my hand was forced. The offended blogger all but said that if I continued to associate with the offending blogger that they would not deal with me anymore and that I was not their "real" friend. This is when I start to chuckle again. Ok was she trying to 50 Cent me?! For all my non hip hop readers let me explain that line. You see 50 Cent will attempt to destroy any person who does business with a rapper by the name of Ja Rule. Ok let's continue.....actually let's not continue yet. Since we have 50 and Ja I guess I'll be Tupac and name names. What do you think? Yeah I agree let's call them out.




In this corner is Danielle. She runs D's Crunk Corner.







And in this corner we have Georgia Peach who is over at ComingOutHardAndBoutIt.






So GP called Danielle trash and talked about her mom and called her a racist if I'm not mistaken although as I said before I'm not exactly sure why.

I am quite sure that in one of my Random Thoughts I made the statement that arguing on the internet is like winning a race at the Special Olympics. Even if you win you're still retarded.

I can not put into words how stupid I think this whole thing is and how foolish I feel for even taking up this much time in my day to write about it. With that being said both of the ladies are always checking up on me and demanding a post. Well here it is. I guess it's the classic case of be careful of what you wish for...you just might get it.





Look ladies I like both of you. At least I internet like you and this is really uncalled for. Take it from a reformed gangsta...a real one not an internet one.....that being a gangsta or an internet gangsta, or e-thug is just plain sad when you really think about it. Write your blogs and if you choose to comment on other blogs about things you disagree with be respectful and if that's not enough just go back to your blog and write a rebuttal. But really it's not that serious. It's just the internet people. Geez.

Throwback

Yeah I went to the throwback template. The other stuff was just too frustrating. Anyway bare with me my boss is suddenly demanding just as much of my time as you guys. I promise you that the heat is coming though. It's just that while being an internet phenomenon is cool I am also a very important man in the "real" world and that pays the bills. Stay tuned....

M.I.A.

What's up My Loyal Subjects! I'm back like cooked crack. I'm hoping that my highly evolved brain matter will be able to provide you guys with highly entertainging nonsense on a more regular basis. I had to take a little hiatus and get my mind right and regroup. But don't get it twisted I'm still just as pompous, arrogant and conceited as ever. Don't you just love THE KING?! I've been reading all of the Dynasty members blogs everyday and you guys are on fire! And now with my return it completes the circle. You see without me you guys are sort of like the Beatles without John Lennon or the Jackson 5 without little Michael. What? Hey don't be mad you're still good. Just more like a Tito or Ringo good. Oh well.

So get ready for a great week as I slay you guys with my platinum tongue(yeah you read that right). I promise actual posts this week and not just filler. You guys trust me right? C'mon it's me the ILLustrious Ddot the King! Yes the guy you all love to hate or is that hate to love? Oh well in the end things are as they have always been....good stuff here suckas.

Don't blame me because I'm Ddot the King and you're not! Blame your under achieving parents! As for me I'm so far ahead of my time my parents haven't met yet. Let that marinate. So although Mondays suck when you're Ddot everyday is a sunny Saturday afternoon! Enjoy your day my friends(we're not really friends) and remember one thing, although you'll never know if this is true or not.....



IT IS GOOD TO BE THE KING!!!!!

Who Knows...

I have no idea what is going on with my page. I don't know if I've been hacked or what but I don't have time to mess with it right now. Maybe I'll work on it later in the week or maybe this is a sign for me to just chill with the whole blogging thing. What do you think?

Rock the Blogs

You've been waitin' and debatin' for oh so long/
Just starvin like Marvin for a Ddot blog/
If you cried and thought I had died, you was definitely wrong/
It took some thoughts plus I brought My Loyal Subjects along/
Evened up with my folks down with the Ddot force/
Symbolizin' in the rhymin' for the blog of course/
I'm a tower full of power blind you with rain and smog/
Ddot back at the keyboard and on his job/
Rock the blogs!!!

Good morning. Did you miss me? I'm sure the days moved oh so slowly without my charm and wit to keep you company. Well I'm back so you can all rejoice! Of course the above rhyme was my take on the classic LL Cool J song Rock the Bells so for all of my hip hop challenged readers no that didn't come from my highly evolved mind. But I'm sure you enjoyed it nonetheless. Well it's a short week so there's so little to do and so much time. Wait. Reverse that. I love Willy Wonka. How was that for a random thought?! HA! Ok peeps it's good to be back, it's good to be alive and of course.....

It's Good to Be THE KING!!!!!

Random Thought Friday...

Riddle me this. What have you been highly anticipating all week? Ok what had you so excited that you went to bed at 7:30 last night so this morning could hurry up and get here? What is the space between insane and insecure? Ok last one. It's the internet phenomenon that's sweeping the globe! Give up? It's Random Thought Friday!!! Ok ok calm down or your co-workers will think you're nuts. But then again they're probably reading this now too. Maybe you should initiate a Random Thought Party in your office. If you do please describe in detail the look on your boss's face once you finishing pitching the idea! Hope your resume is up to date! Anyway here's what all of you have been waiting for, the one opportunity every week to see what is going on in the deep dark places of my noggin. Ladies, gentleman, and My Loyal Subjects I now present to you The King's Random Thoughts!!!

I went to see Get Rich or Die Tryin' last night and I'm sort of upset that it wasn't nearly as bad as I had hoped. It was actually mildly entertaining. But anytime Ja Rule is being made fun of it's a good thing.

Kobe Bryant has been on a scoring rampage. Hey Kobe, I hope you get ass cancer!!

At some point in your day take a moment to step aside and reflect on what happend to Terrell Owens.... and laugh your ass off!!! Seriously though I'm worried about the guy. I think he may have a grapefruit sized tumor leaning up against the part of your brain that keeps you from making a complete ass out of yourself. Get help T.O.

Look no one wants to have sex with Beyonce more than me, I don't think anyone is here to argue that. So if anyone wants her and her mother's clothing line to work it's me but 98.9% of the stuff I've seen looks like doo doo. Like maybe Mama Knowles does a little acid before designing some of that crap. House of Dereon? More like House of Crapola. I still love you B!

Speaking of hot chicks I heard Halle Berry is pregnant. I've always thought she was pretty but I can count the amount of times I've masturbated to her on one hand. Wait, a hand has 800 fingers right? Oh. Uh never mind.

I let my boss borrow my phone charger yesterday and she still hasn't returned it. She better not let the nice slacks and the "I'm not falling for the banana in the tailpipe" voice fool her. I will act a motherf*cking fool up in this b*tch!

And there you have my gangsta moment of the day. Let's press on shall we?

Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win you're still F*cking retarded.

One of my crazy ex-"friends" called my mom this week to tell her what a terrible guy I am. My mom then called me. This is the exact exchange between us. MOM: "Umm a young lady just called me and said you dogged her out after taking her virginity." KING: "What was her name?"
*a long silence* MOM: How many girls have you taken virginity from?!!!" KING: " Umm ma I have a telemarketer on the other line and I really need to get back to him." Click. So here's a big F U to the crazy chick!!! Now I will never be able to look my mom in the eyes again. On the bright side I'm sure my dad is walking around showing my picture off to his buddies like he did when I was first born.

If I dated an asian chick do you think she'd be mad if I asked her to say "me love you long time."

If I dated a schizophrenic chick I think during sex I would ask weird stuff like "who's your daddy?...ok and who's your daddy...and what's your daddy's name?!

I am horny this morning or what?!

I accidentally watched Madonna's new video. She looks like she got her clothes at a dead hooker's crime scene. Stop it pumpkin. It's over.

I've always thought that really pale white people have really cold skin.

Rev Run is to 2005 what Cliff Huxtable was to 1985.

Where is Michael Jackson's Hurricane Katrina relief song?! I know I've asked this before but geez c'mon Mike. Don't make me put the pressure on you Miguel. I have a nation of thousands...well maybe not thousands...it's probably more like enough to fill a small restroom. But you don't want to piss us off!!

When I start to make myself laugh too hard while writing this nonsense I flash myself the "Wrap it up" sign because I'm afraid I'll screw it up. But I'm wild and daring....let's keep it going!!!

I'm starting to feel better about all those razor filled apples I gave out at halloween. The first couple of nights were the toughest with me watching the news and all but now that I stopped watching the news things are looking up. Oh and now I know what all these athletes and stars mean when they say the media is the cause of all their problems. They made it seem like I put the razors in there to hurt people. When really it was just for laughs! Stinkin media.

I saw Terry McMillan's ex husband on Oprah this week and if she didn't know he was gay by the way he talks, gestures, and dresses don't you think the fact that he probably only wanted to have anal sex with her should've given her a clue?

My boss called me into her office earlier this week and I was shaking more than Muhammad Ali in an earthquake seeing how I realized my first week here that my job is not really necessary. She proceeded to tell me I was doing a great job and I got a little baby raise. I'm starting to feel like I'm in that What's Happening episode when they gave Big Shirley a job just because she was black but didn't actually give her any work to do. She quit because she had pride and dignity. The King however is going to ride this train 'til the wheels fall off!!!

Ok I've taken up enough of your day. And again I don't really care if I entertained you or not because I wrote this for me...in fact why are you even here reading this...get lost....go on beat it.



Everybody have a great weekend!!!!

IT IS GOOD TO BE THE KING!!

100 Things About Your King

Alright all My Loyal Subjects here's what you've all been waiting for. It's 100 Things about your King. I have resisted doing this since I've seen everybody and their mama doing one. Alas I am a man that likes to keep his Loyal Subjects happy so I will attempt to come up with 100 things about myself but be forewarned that I am a conceited bastard and some of these statements may make your stomach turn! Enjoy.

1. My birthday is May 21st.

2. My brother's birthday is May 21st.

3. Yes I am a Twin.

4. I have 2 older sisters.

5. I am very shy.

6. Being shy and handsome don't work well together because people just think I'm being stuck up.

7. I have never celebrated Christmas, Easter, or any other holiday.

8. No I don't feel robbed or sad about that. In fact I am grateful for it.

9. This is harder than I thought.

10. I have a job that requires a college education.

11. I do not have a college education.

12. But I'm a beast when it comes to doctoring resumes.

13. I crack myself up.

14. I have always wanted to be an actor.

15. In High School I was named the best actor in the state 3 years in a row.

16. I have talked my way out of more fights than I can care to count.

17. I fought over half of the North Carolina A&T football team.

18. At once.

19. I'll write a blog about it one day but let's just say I had one too many shots of Paul Masson.

20. I did my homeboys mom...and he caught us.

21. He's no longer my homeboy.

22. This is a bootleg 100 list but it's cracking me up.

23. I'm 6'0 but I like to say I'm 6'1.

24. I usually smell like Curve, Curve Wave, or Very Sexy by Victoria Secret.

25. I am going to bring the word Def back in style.

Ok that's enough for now. I'll hit you up with another def 25 next Thursday.

The Critic Sucks..

Hey everybody. Today's post will be short and sweet yet very powerful Whenever I start to get down on myself about my blog and just want to quit I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes...


"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."---Theodore Roosevelt

This inspires me to keep going even when I think I just wrote some trash or I only have 2 comments. I hope that it can help to keep anybody reading this to keep going in those low moments and to even be a reminder when everything is going well. Your welcome.

Ddot's Hip Hop Summit Part 2...

Ok everybody take a seat. Let's get this started. Welcome everybody to day 2 of my hip hop summit. I hope we can get into some deep issues today and perhaps make some progress.

Russell Simmons: Ddot I have asked Mase to pray before we get started.
Ddot: You can't be serious.
Russell Simmons: Yes I'm very serious.
Mase: What's the problem?
Ddot: The problem is you have a Bible in your hand and a gun on your waist with a spinning G-Unit chain AND a cross around your neck! I'm sorry but you will not be praying over THE KING!
Michael Jackson: C'mon fellas can't we all just get along?
dead silence falls on the room
Ddot: What the f*ck are you doing here?
Michael Jackson: What do you mean? Haven't you heard that I'm hip hop now? I'm down son!
Ddot: Ok Mike you can stay but Bow Wow and Lil Romeo will have to leave for their own safety.
Ddot: Ok on to the discussion! Let's here from dead prez since you guys were mentioned several times at the last summitt.
M-1(of dead prez): Thanks Ddot. I don't think rappers should be forced to give a positive message if that's not who they are.
Ddot: I think I see where you're going with this. Please continue.
M-1: If you smoke weed everyday and shoot at people then that's exactly what you should rap about.
stic man(of dead prez): Right. I ain't hating on anybody who's keeping it real but a lot of yall are faking it and these crackers are playing yall.
Rev Run: I agree. How many more times do we have to hear that 50 Cent got shot 9 times? Keep it funky.
Cam'Ron: I got shot too!
50 Cent: Yeah but you only got hit twice. I'm more gangsta than you.
Ddot: What kind of idiotic conversation is this? Anyway we have Mystikal on the phone from the Louisiana Correctional Facility. How's prison life Mystikal?
Mystikal: *weeping gently* let's just say I've been asked to "Shake it Fast" one too many times.
an uncomfortable silence fills the room

Ddot: Look Mystikal I'm going to hang up now and we'll just pretend this never happened. Ok? Nighty night... keep your butthole tight!!!
Ja Rule: That was wrong King.
Ddot: Who keeps letting you in?!
Jay-Z: Ddot I'm really feeling your new look. Oh and I heard your girl Jackie retired her site. I'm glad because I was tired of seeing my peoples getting embarrassed over there.
Ddot: Do you mean Beyonce Giselle Knowles? I know you didn't just refer to her as your peoples?! That's your woman! Treat her as such or I will take her from you. Jerk.
Jay-Z: Yeah I'm sure she'll leave me for you and your little blog.
Ddot: You know some things don't have to be said Jay. You could've kept that to yourself. Someone get me my Zoloft...
Russell Simmons: Can we get back on topic please?
Ddot: You're right Russell. Oh and by the way make sure Kimora cleans up that vomit in the ladies room. Now it is my opinion that hip hop has a responsibility in helping to shape our future and you guys have to take that seriously.
Young Jeezy: I agree and I have taken my role seriously. Did you know I opened my home to some of the Katrina victims?
Ddot: Yeah I heard about that. I also heard that you pay your son's mother less than 200 dollars a month in child support and rarely spend time with your son. No one's future should be more important to you than his.
Young Jeezy: Yeah but...
Ddot: Just quit while you're ahead son.
MC Lyte: I just want to say that all female emcees aren't sex crazed bimbos.
Da Brat: I'm so glad you said that Lyte. It's all about the lyrics.
MC Lyte: Bitch didn't I see you on 106 & Park pulling your pants down.
Da Brat: Yeah yeah but that's just to show that I'm a wild girl. It's not sexual.
MC Lyte: Anytime a grown woman pulls her pants down in front of a bunch of teenagers it's sexual. Get lost.
Suge Knight: Well since I've been very successful on the business side I'm open to any questions you guys might have.
Ddot: What happened to Pac?
Suge: I said business quest..
Ddot: What happened to Tupac?! Until you are ready to answer that question please keep your mouth shut.
Qtip: It's very frustrating to see the record company executives shaping our culture. They basically turn an artist into whoever they need them to be to sell records.
Ddot: So what can be done?
Jay-Z: Artists have to be true to who they are and learn the business side of things. With more of us running things the better off Hip Hop will be.
Ddot: Good point Jigga. Ok well we're going to stop here for today and let you guys go pop some Cristal and smoke some blunts. And hey no Jesus Juice for you Michael!!!!


Stay tuned for part 3 people....

No Child Left Unrecruited...

Remember the No Child Left Behind legislation? Well let's review.Here's how the official website describes it: No Child Left Behind is the historic, bipartisan education reform effort that President Bush proposed his first week in office and that Congress passed into law on January 8, 2002. The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 (NCLB) reauthorized the Elementary and Secondary Education Act (ESEA) -- the main federal law affecting education from kindergarten through high school. NCLB is built on four principles: accountability for results, more choices for parents, greater local control and flexibility, and an emphasis on doing what works based on scientific research.

Did you know that this legislation also requires that the participating schools must allow military recruiters into their schools or risk losing funding?! The schools are also required to give the students home telephone numbers and addresses to the military. Parents can write a letter to the school stating that they don't want their child's information given to the military and only then can it be kept private.

Here's the thing. What if the parents don't know that they have that right. Studies show that in more affluent neighborhoods 90 percent of the parents write the letter. However in more rural and lower income neighborhoods only 2 percent of parents write the letter.

This past week the Washington Post singled out the small town of Martinsville, Va as the city that supplies the military with the greatest number of enlistees in proportion to it's youth population. I was born and raised in Martinsville. I have several relatives in the military. My cousin Marniquis who is like a little brother to me is in downtown Baghdad as I type this. He called me right after he signed up in tears. "I had no other option", he said quietly into the phone, "I didn't know what else to do."

The military is full of young men and women like my cousin. Kids from small towns and low income families that have been told the military is their only option. I see the "Support Our Troops" stickers on some very nice cars and I read a lot of blogs that say things like "sometimes war is necessary" and "we have to sacrifice for freedom". Those people driving those really nice cars and writing those blogs are the same ones that write the letter not allowing their child's information to be given to the military. It's the poor families who are sacrificing their lives for a war most of them don't even agree with. It's the kids in the small towns that just want to get out and see the world and are being told from an early age by these recruiters that the only way to do that is to join the military.

We've been bamboozled, hoodwinked, led astray, run amuck. George Bush and other crooked politicians passed this legislation with the guise of it designed to help children who usually slip through the cracks. Instead those same kids who, if they received the help could go on to college or trade school, end up in some foreign country being shot at by some other poor and brainwashed kid.

So please save all your comments about how we should support our troops and not talk bad about the war so that their morale stays high. My family is their so I support them more than you could ever know and I don't need a yellow ribbon stuck on my car to do it. Being a realist I also know that the kid that went to join the army to have a way out is not going to be the same person that comes back home. He'll have seen some very harsh things and perhaps participating in some acts that you nor I could ever imagine. He'll still be my favorite cousin and I'll still love and support him. But don't tell me no child is being left behind when hundreds of kids have lost their parents since this war has started. No, don't tell me no child is left behind when the rich and powerful ensure that their kids are left behind when the poor and powerless are shipped off to war. My young cousin, a child, was left behind when he stepped off of a plane into the desert and was handed a gun.

Random Thought Friday...

Welcome one and all to what has become an internet phenomenon. The King's Random Thoughts! Unfortunately for you I am not feeling so random today. My boss gave me a ridiculous amount of work. So anyway I am leaving the random thoughts up to you! Leave anything you want whether it's weird, funny, or insightful just as long as it's random! If you're new to the spot just check out some of my old Random Thoughts and you'll get the idea. Ok so this is the laziest post ever seeing how I'm making you My Loyal Subjects do all the work!!! Have a great weekend everybody!!

The NBA's New Clothes...

You knew it was coming. There was no way I was going to let the NBA slide for their new dress code policy. I waited for the season to actually begin before I commented on it and in that time I've been wavering back and forth on whether I agree with it or not.

Ok so do I agree that these young black men who make millions of dollars and influence children all across the world should be very careful about what they say, do, and wear? Sure. So I don't think it's asking too much for them to put a suit on. Marcus Camby of the Denver Nuggets said that NBA players should be given a stipend to buy suits. Mr. Camby makes 10 million dollars so if he needs help buying a suit or two then he should probably be forced to get a financial adviser as well. But he inadvertently made a good point. What about the guy who gets called up to play from the NBDL(The NBA's version of the minor leagues) who doesn't make millions of dollars? Would that guy get fined just as much as Allen Iverson? That's the first flaw I found in the dress code. But what's really behind this new dress code?

Hip hop...ah there's the rub.

There are CEO's all over this country that put on a oversized pair of Rocawear jeans and a white tee and some Air Jordans on their feet. They sit down at their desks with their Master Degrees on the wall behind them. That's hip hop and that's what the NBA doesn't understand.

But the NBA says it wants to steer away from hip hop. Liars. They love hip hop. They make millions off of it every year. Everybody does. Kanye West graced the cover of Time magazine...not the Source magazine...TIME. Jay-Z, had a feature story in Fortune about his success as a CEO and was GQ's Man of The Year in Britain. In fact, we -- being in and of the hip-hop culture -- were responsible for generating $1.5 billion annually for corporate companies, making what we do and who we are one of the top corporate financial entities in America. Last I looked, Cingular Wireless (which just posted a 56 percent third-quarter profit increase) and Target and Nike and Viacom and Disney were trying to "incorporate" us into their marketing and brand-building plans.

So here we are with the NBA in 2005 saying to it's millionaire players that they can't wear jewelry, jerseys, or headphones. They must dress business casual or they'll be giving back a portion of their checks. Why? Because if you dress like a business man you might not do bad things? Hmmm ok. Would you rather us be like Karl Rove or Tom DeLay or Lewis Libby? Would you rather your players present themselves more like Enron's Kenneth Lay or Jeff Skilling? Arthur Andersen's Joe Berardino? Tyco's Dennis Kozlowski? WorldCom's Bernie Ebbers? Maybe you guys can point out Lil Kim as being an example of hip hop's jail mentality and conveniently forget to mention Martha Stewart. Or maybe you'll remember to mention that most of the "thuggery" clothes we buy (especially those worn by NBA players) come from Neiman's, Macy's and Saks, where entire floors are devoted to our fashion and designers.

So this clothing that's not ok for NBA players to wear is in fact good enough for your billionaire corporate sponsors to sell? Hypocrites.



With all that being said if I could afford a 60,000 dollar chain and drive a Bentley I'd want to wear a Brooks Brothers suit to complete the look on most days. But I'd also want the freedom to be able to show up in my Sean John jeans and an oversized L-R-G hoodie with my shades on fronting like my doo doo don't stink.



Note to the NBA: Those dunks you love and use to promote your game? Hip Hop. The styles of uniform that are now being worn by every NBA team? Hip Hop. The beef between Shaq and Kobe that you love so much? Hip Hop. And I know that part of the reason you don't want your players wearing a Rocawear shirt is because you're giving away free advertising dollars. But what you don't realize is that hip hop adjusts. This is how we were built in the first place. We decide what's hot not you. We'll be just as cool and rebellious in our suits as in our jeans.

The Ruler's Back...

Good morning. I took the day off yesterday and went to the doctor for a physical and got some other business handled. I know all of you missed me but I'm back and I'll be posting something sometime today. So who missed THE KING?!

Racist? You make the Call...

I know seeing the word "racist" in the title of this blog made some of you a little nervous. I understand that because talking about race in this country is such a touchy subject. A lot of times people are afraid to say what is on their minds for fear of being branded a racist which in this country is one of the worst titles a person can recieve.

When Kanye West told the world that George Bush doesn't care about black people the most powerful man in the world went into spin mode and almost forgot that an American city was destroyed in his attempt to prove to anyone who would listen that he does in fact care about black people.

Last week the Air Force head football coach, Fisher Deberry, almost lost a job he's had for over 20 years for saying something that was perceived by some as being racist and insensitive. While commenting on his teams loss Deberry said "We were looking at things, like you don't see many minority athletes in our program." When asked to elaborate he said "It just seems to be that way, that Afro-American kids can run very, very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me they run extremely well." Hmmm...ok.

Two days later all hell had broken loose and Deberry was on TV fighting back tears and apologizing for offending anybody. But what exactly was he apologizing for? I mean other than the fact that he used the term "Afro-American" which, if I'm not mistaken, we put out to pasture sometime in the early nineties, what did he really say that was so bad?

Our fear of any discussion involving race shouldn't eliminate common sense observations. I watch college football as well as the NFL and to put it bluntly black guys are faster than white guys. Now don't get me wrong probably 99% of the white guys in the NBA and 85% of the white guys in the NFL are all faster than THE KING and as you can tell from my profile I am black. I'm also fly but that's a different subject. Anyway as I looked at football this weekend I noticed something very interesting. The cornerback position is based solely on speed and there's not one starting white cornerback in the NFL. Not one. That's not the same as making a presumption about the intelligence or character of cornerbacks, black or white. It's just a fact. Plain and simple. DeBerry didn't offer any cultural or empirical evidence about cornerbacks; he just said he would like faster ones, and as the NFL demonstrates, the fastest ones are black. That isn't even debatable.

Mostly I hear objection being raised by white administrators and the mostly white media, a sort of misplaced white liberal guilt, if you ask me. Oh, there's plenty of bigotry out there that needs to be identified, but DeBerry's statements aren't among the top 1,000 on the list.

The coach didn't say his school should lower admissions standards to let in more black students, as Paul Hornung said Notre Dame should do. DeBerry didn't do an Al Campanis and say somebody lacked the necessities (primarily the intellectual necessities) to do a specific task. And he certainly shouldn't be lumped in with the likes of Jimmy the Greek, who gave a drunken anthropology lesson of how the big black buck (to use his words) was mated with the big black slave woman to produce the best athlete.

DeBerry didn't insult any race or ethnic group. He offended some folks who confuse politically incorrect public speaking with bigotry.

Real Recognizes Real...

I wanted to take the time out to recognize some of My MOST Loyal Subjects. As some of you have noticed THE DYNASTY has grown by three this week and THE COMMISSION is totally revamped.

First of all let's welcome the lovely Miss Jacquelyn to The Dynasty. Her blog is the spot to go for all the celebrity nonsense you can handle. She's also almost as humorous as yours truly although she would tell you that I don't even come close. You ready J?!

The Soulful Brown Queen known to you as Andrea and to me as Drea because we are sooo tight is next new member of The Dynasty. She is a student at UGA and always has great entries about her daily life. She also almost always agrees with THE KING which definitely helps push her over the top!! Do your thing Queen!

That brings us to Danielle. She routinely has over 200 comments a day and is always entertaining and insightful. She was also the first blogger to link THE KING so she's very dear to my cold heart. She's white but she's cool. LOL! Keep it Crunk D!

Of course the other memebers of The Dynasty are GeorgiaPeach who is the craziest chick in the blogging universe and my homie Leesa who is always writing something that...well...let's say if I was in High School I'd have to walk with my bookbag in front of me. I'm still waiting for a sequal to Summer Tan Lines Leesa!! Last but not least is a classic case of cronyism. It's my man ARSON! He hardly ever updates his blog or comments on mine but he's been down with me even before his cousin did some really shady stuff to me!!! Set them on fire main man!

Now The Commission is my crew of bloggers who are somewhat new to me but they seem cool. So if they frequent my blog and keep me interested in theirs they will make the leap up into The Dynasty. First up is J.O.Y. who really flattered THE KING in one of her posts and flattering me will get you everywhere! Next is Miss Peculiar who is..well peculiar but she likes arguing with THE KING and that's always fun for the readers. Grant is a wild man but he's cool and I often agree with he's weird comments so that's why he makes the cut. Then there's MizPowderPink who's blog I really like and I'm jealous of her blog's new look. Her great smile is easy on the eyes as well. Can somebdy design me a new template?? Anyway Rell emailed me yesterday and we agreed to link each other just out of respect for what each of us have going. Don't you just love that?

So there you have it now make sure you visit all of them and show your love! And any of you reading this can make either list with a little hard work and dedication! Everybody have a great weekend and I promise Random Thought Friday will return next week!

Oh and before I go a big shout out goes to the lovely Mrs. Rosa Parks who with a simple act of defiance changed the world as we know it. So to Mrs. Parks and all of the unsung heroes of the civil rights era we salute you and we will continue to carry the torch. What? Yall had to know I just wrote that post earlier this week to make yall mad! Me diss a strong black woman? Never! One.

Where's the Beef?!

Ok people it happened. We all hoped it would happen but no one ever actually thought that it would. If you are a true hip hop fan what Jay-Z did last night was historic. The Jigga Man actually brought out his long time nemesis Nas!!! They performed and squashed all their beef. I love the fact that two young talented black men can show that all that beef stuff gets old. if we all work together things are a lot better for everybody. For anybody reading this and doesn't understand why this was so big it's sorta like the Palestinians and the Israelis ending their conflict out of nowhere. I really think the pictures I've found say alot more about the night than I could write so enjoy. Oh and I will be back later today with an actual post....maybe.

Hip Hop History

Save Tookie...

If there was ever a case that proves we don't need the death penalty it is the case of Stanley "Tookie" Williams.

Tookie is the man who in 1971 co-founded the the now famous street gang known as The Crips. What many don't know is that Tookie and his best friend Raymond actually formed the group to protect their neighborhood from the gangs of the day. Eventually however as the Crips grew in size they too became a more traditional gang and caused havoc all throughout South Central LA. The gang is now in 42 states and on at least one other continent: South Africa. Youngsters in Soweto and other South African cities have formed the Crips copycat gangs.

In 1981 Tookie was convicted of murdering 4 people and sentenced to death. In 1987, Tookie began what became a 6 1/2-year stay in solitary confinement. After two years there, Tookie began to look at himself. He focused on the choices he had made in his life and then committed himself to make a drastic change. Only then did Tookie finally begin to care about the many children, mothers, fathers and other family members of this country hurt by the Crips legacy and by its explosive growth.

Mr. Williams now denounces his violent past and his role as a gang leader. He has written several very popular children's books that teach kids that violence is not the answer. Stanley also was instrumental in brokering the peace treaty between the Crips and Bloods and a movie based on his life was made with Jamie Foxx playing the role of Tookie.

Yesterday a judge signed a death warrant for Tookie after 24 years of sitting on Death Row for a crime that he still steadfastly denies committing. How ironic is it that a man who in the past 24 years has worked so hard to help children, help reform gang members, and has been mominated for the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE will now be killed by the state of California.

Don't let this injustice happen. The Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, can grant Mr. Williams clemency so let him hear from you. Arnold's fax number is 916-445-4633 or if you'd rather speak to someone you can call 916-445-2841. At the very least sign the online petition. Either way let your voice be heard and don't let this man who has shown that he is all about peace die while someone like Charles Manson an admitted murderer will live off the state until he dies from old age.

Oh Rosa...

Rosa Parks, the mother of the Civil RIghts movement died this week. "She sat down and the world turned around" said one of her long time friends. Rosa has had praised heaped upon her for years and I'm quite frankly sick of it. Didn't see that one coming did you? Follow me on this little ride my friends.

Rosa refused to get up out of her seat to allow a white man to sit down. She was tired and she didn't feel like getting up so she gave the man and the police officer who showed some attitude. It was nothing different than you see from a lot women especially sisters. Not to mention if they are tired and their feet hurt!! Look don't get me wrong the fact that she did it in the deep south in the 1960s shows that she had balls but let's not blow this thing out of proportion. There were hundreds of others who had refused to give up their seats before Rosa did but all of them didn't get arrested and the ones that did get arrested didn't work at the NAACP.

We all heard Cedric the Entertainer make similar comments in the movie Barbershop and the other barbers and patrons called him on the things that he said. I fully expect a lot of people will have a meltdown after reading this blog but hey it's how I feel and I'm the King. You see I had always heard about Mrs. Parks but never gave her much thought until she sued my favorite rap group OUTKAST because they named one of their songs after her. To me as a person who was "so brave" and wanted everyone to have equal rights to do as they please it was odd to see her suing two young black men for doing something that they felt was honoring her. A few years later when Cedric the Entertainer was selected as host of the NAACP Awards she refused to show up because she was still peeved by his character's comments in the movie. Yeah I know she was old and crabby but this again didn't seem to point to a woman who is now being characterized as the woman who changed a nation.

The thing is Rosa Parks should be remembered for having courage but I think the courage kicked in after she did what she did and had so many eyes on her. She didn't run or back down but continued in the fight. That is most definitely noteworthy but let's not take it to the extreme with honoring her. She was a normal red blooded person just like you and I. She was having a bad day and she made a fuss just like she did with Outkast and Cedric but I'm sure we'll all conveniently forget about those episodes!


I know you're all peeved now but so what! Bring it!

Nobody is Always Right....

I feel like I am a well rounded individual. I love Country music as well as Hip Hop. I am liberal and conservative. I am so fly that the TSA monitors anyone who comes close to me and yet I am such a big nerd that Screech would've picked on me. That's why for the life of me I can't understand how some people can be so blind to think that everything that one group of people decides is always right and always best for everybody else.

I watch these "News" shows and all of the pundits argue to the death over who's right and who's wrong and yet it seems as if they never...ever...agree. Right now Republicans are actually trying to defend Karl Rove and Tom Delay just because they all belong to the same political party. Do they think that regular everyday people like us can't see through that crap? I actually read a blog today that said one of the pros of Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers is simply that she was chosen by George W. Bush and since he's a man of character and integrity she must be a good choice. Does that make sense to anybody? Even if I was a Bush supporter I think I would be a complete idiot to just blindly go along with whatever he says for no other reason than "just because."

My mama ain't always right! I mean sometimes it seems that way but even she gets it wrong sometimes. Besides she would call me a fool for blindly following anybody including her. A lot of these so called experts appear to be smart people who have an agenda to accomplish instead of just telling it like it is. Some people argue that straight shooters will never get elected to any office because people want to have the ears tickled. I agree with that to a certain extent but nobody wants to be lied to just so your party won't look bad in the press. Rove and Delay did something that they had no business doing. Harriet Miers isn't even remotely qualified for the Supreme Court, the war in Iraq was a huge mistake, and Bill Clinton was wrong for allowing Monica to play a song on his meat whistle. I think everybody would respect pundits and those in the govenment a lot more if they came out and just said what everybody who is watching these things are thinking.

And just so my title is absolutely correct I, The King , will say that today is Jan. 1, 2007. Now someone can say that even I have been wrong before. You're welcome.

Random Thought Friday...

Well I'm still not in the mood for blogging but it's sorta therapeutic so I shall press on. Besides the masses have demanded that I return and what kind of King would I be to ignore my Loyal Subjects?! On to that murky mess in my brain that has come to be known as Random Thoughts....

DISCLAIMER: this will most likely be relatively incoherent and may end without a point. You have been warned.

I don't feel there's a question that could be asked that I couldn't respond to with the phrase: "Applesauce, bitch."

"King, what are you doing for lunch?"

Applesauce, bitch.

I only use curse words when I write. Is that odd?

Yesterday Your President GWB used the word "concernation". That's not meant to be funny. In fact it's just plain sad and I am actually "concernated" about him! HA!!

I like it when people fall down.

When I get angry with someone I sometimes tell that person, "I wish you would just fall down and skin your knee."

(I hope someone has the quick wit to review this post and respond with, "After reading your post I hope you skin your knee." To see a response like or similar to this would be a real shocker.)

I caught myself singing along to a Kelly Clarkson song this morning in the car. I laughed at myself and tried to turn the radio when I realized it was a cd. I BOUGHT KELLY FREAKIN CLARKSON'S CD?! Hell just froze over my friends.

My sister just emailed me and said "Hey RANDOM THOUGHT FRIDAY!!!" I think that's the first compliment I've ever received from her. If you're reading this you're still a JERK maam!!!!

I have decided to write and release the Harry Potter 7 before JK Rowlings does. I am quite sure I will make millions just because people are so gullible and paranoid. I can hear the conversation now... "They say JK didn't write it but I think she did. It's a trick, a ploy even. I'm going to buy it anyway just to find out."

I have decided that if and when I die I want a bunch of Arab women going wild, wailing, pulling their hair and shouting my name to the heavens while their husbands shoot ak-47's into the air. I'm telling you people will be talking about that for years!

I want to get myself an edible hat - that way I can make a lot more outrageous claims.

I've worked out how to piss people off. For some reason when someone says something positive to me, even though I agree, I shake my head. When they say something negative I nod. Anyone know why this pisses people off? Am I psychological genius?

For someone who has a dreadful singing voice, the worse thing in the world is when I'm driving along and the CD in the car skips, throwing what should be silence, but is actually filled with my last non-note fluttering away to awkward silence.

A new guy started here this week and he says his name is Niko Kane. C'mon dude how much did you have to pay to get your name changed?! I always address him as follows...Hello Niko Kane...if that's your reeeaaal name. I think he's afraid of me. HA!

If someone killed my dad with a 9mm gun I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't walk around with a chain on my neck with a gold 9mm charm to remember him by and yet people who believe Jesus died on a cross do essentially the exact same thing.

I think Beyonce tastes like Butterscotch. I totally stole that from Grant's blog!

Niko Kane...if that's his reeeeaaal name....dresses just like Kanye West. I will eventually have to lure him to a bar and beat him like he owes me money and then blame it on the liquor. Poor Niko Kane.

If I ever have a son I will name him Bruce. And if I ever have a daughter I will get her a sex change before she starts school because I think the children will make fun of a girl named Bruce.

In Living Color reruns, Making the Band, The Ultimate Hustler and Run's House. Do I have to say anything else?

Ok I guess I should do some work now. Thanks for stopping by and thanks for your comments this week. Everybody have a good weekend and remember Monday is only 2 days away!!