Kanye Doesn't Suck

So I went to Circuit City yesterday to buy the new Kanye West album Late Registration. I've been watching this guy for the past couple of days shamelessly promoting his album while repeatedly telling any and everyone how great he and his music is. It's a very long rope on which he could possibly hang himself. It also makes my stomach hurt because no one likes arrogant people. Can you believe that I, THE KING, have myself been accused of being arrogant and even pompous?! Yeah I can't believe it either. At any rate I guess a small part of me wanted to believe Mr. West's ramblings. I've always heard that it's not bragging if it's true. But just to be sure I would have to go buy his album. Ok yeah I could've gotten it bootleg but THE KING is a law abiding citizen! But big shouts out to the bootleg man over at the fish spot! Ok I'm rambling again. So I got the album and believe me people the guy has the right to boast. I'm not say that he should boast or at least not in every single interview but the album is very good. THE KING has spoken so go out and buy or download the album and let me know what you think.

Here are a few that I really like but again the entire album is nice.

1. My Way Home
2. Crack Music
3. Hey Mama
4. Gone
5. We Major ( Shout out to Rod aka Arson!!!)

Things that make you go Hmmmm....

I will be posting a few of these a week...
-Why is it called a running back when he runs forward?
-What do you call a male ladybug?
-If you strangle a smurf what color does it turn?
-People who can't see are blind and people who can't hear are deaf what do you call people who can't smell?
-How do they get those boats in the glass bottles?
-Why is it called a T.V. set when there's only one?
-If it's 0 degrees today and they say it will be twice as cold tommorow, how cold is that?
-If IHOP stands for International House of Pancakes, why do you only see it in North America
-Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet?
-Can a guy named nick have a "nick"name?
-Why is it called alchoholics anonymous when the first thing you say is your name?
-Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?
-If a person owns a piece of land does he own it all the way to the core of the earth?
-Why do they say an alarm clock is going OFF when it's really turning on?
-If you wore a teflon suit, can you ever get into a sticky situation?
-If nothing sticks to teflon, how do they get it to stick to the pan?
-If jimmy cracks corn and nobody cares then why is there a song about him?

Stupid Weathermen!!!
Ok well I've been watching the news and how stupid are these "meteorologists"?! Why do we need to see some guy standing in the middle of a HURRICANE to understand that the wind is blowing hard! I'm sure they think it makes them seem like real news people but in actuality any elementary school student could do the exact same thing.

Here are some rules of thumb to remember as we weather stupid news people!:

• Weatherdudes and reporters are only interested in the worst damage and personal Tragedy.
  
• Only the Absolute Highest Wind Numbers are cited by Weatherdudes.
  
• Weatherdudes rarely mention the size of a storm except when they are talking about Power (a nebulous term that they are allowed to define themselves on the fly).
  
• Weatherdudes rarely mention that those Absolute Highest Wind Numbers are only applicable to a relatively tiny portion of the coast on the right side of the storm's eye as it moves ashore.
  
• Reporters try to find the Absolute Highest Wind Numbers, dressed in the spiffiest possible rain gear, and then tell you not to stand out in the dangerous winds like they are.
  
• Noise cancelling microphones cannot cancel out hurricane winds.
  
• The cute furry socks reporters slip over their directional microphones to cut ambient noise just do not work and never seem to look good when drenched with salt spray and covered with muck.
  
• Reporters getting beach sand in their face is better TV than broadcasting from the second floor of a Holiday Inn.
  
• Reporters instantly become Trained Professionals when standing in hurricane winds.
  Handheld anemometers make you look more like a Trained Professional.
  
• No training is required to be a meteorologist or a Trained Professional when a hurricane exists.
  
• Having a mobile weather station on the top of their logoed SUV lets the reporters look more like Trained Professionals and lets them one-up the competition.
  
• Reporters have an inherent right to drive on closed streets and do the stupid stuff that common folk can only wish they could do too, but would never risk damage to their vehicle.
  
• Storms are not sentient, although Weatherdudes and reporters will make them seem so.
  
• Reporters will look for old neighborhoods, manufactured housing and trailer parks to find certain Tragedy. If they can match them up with the Absolute Highest Wind Numbers, even better.
  
• Highlighting any perceived failure in emergency response is key to enhancing the Tragedy.
  
• The standard notice from emergency responders that they will not attempt rescues during the height of the storm does not apply to reporters, since they always deserve to be rescued if in immenent danger.
  
• Reporters will find someone who's double-wide was just trashed and ask them for their personal thoughts on the Tragedy.
  

Let's hope we survive the news media, let alone the storms.

Monday Freaking Morning...
Ok so I woke up this morning and my worse nightmare came true. It was MONDAY MORNING!!!! I really hate mondays. But you know what I hate more? Perky people on monday mornings. I do not care what you did this weekend and that is why I didn't ask you. Please do not ask me about my weekend. It was great. Every monday I say the same thing. It was great. Why? Because I was not here at this lame job and I was not having this stupid conversation with you! I have never once on a weekend been asked 'how was your work week?' Simply because that wouldn't make sense! You see even if my leg had been sawed off with a butter knife over the past 3 days in no way would it be worst than being here. Am I getting through to you? Don't invite me to get a cup of coffee with you because I "need" to wake up! It is in both of our best interest that I do not wake up because I may suddenly realize exactly how much I hate you and beat you into a bloody pulp! Ok I've moved on Have a great week everybody!

Ok so it's Friday! Yes I'm stoked although I have no plans for the weekend. But at least I won't have to wake up and come into work. My boss just walked by and told me to wake up but I don't have time to. I was amped to see that I had several comments on my last post. Is it always going to be like that? Who knows. So I've been checking out other blogs and some of them are really cool and make my page look really crappy but once I have time to sit down and tinker with this I will be the best out there! So tell your buddies about THE KING!

At any rate someone sent me this clip and I think it's hilarious! I almost woke up I was laughing so hard. So I thought I would post it for your enjoyment. I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog. So since you're here leave me some suggestions. All hail THE KING!!

Dating Woes..
Oh and might I add if you women out there stopped chasing the thugs and wanna be thugs that might solve your problem! I mean let's think about it. You want the proverbial bad boy who has spent a large part of his youth and young adulthood in jail. Well those are very formative years for a man. If they are only around other men and a lot who are openly gay while in jail then you are going to end up with a problem. Take the time to get to know the quiet brother who is responsible. Believe me after a few months of nagging he'll want to choke you just as bad as the "bad boy"! I am great.

Obsessed with the Down Low Brother! (FOR YOU T.M.)
What's up everybody. I have recently been talking to one of my closer female friends and my most loyal reader might I add and I am forced to write about this so called phenomenon of "the down low brother". Yeah I know it sucks (no pun intended) but I have to give my readers what they want.

So what angle do I take on this subject? A subject, might I add, that I don't feel all that comfortable writing about. No not because I'm uncomfortable with my own sexuality but simply because this is a issue that I will never....EVER have to deal with. You see I'm not a woman who is going to get tricked by a bi-sexual man nor am I a gay man! So, you ask, why am I wasting your time babbling? Good question. Here's why.

Is the constant coverage of this subject tilted in the media to only include black men? Well of course it is! It is a salacious distraction from other issues affecting the black community, such as unemployment, homophobia and a lack of economic empowerment. Some observers have criticized the media coverage, saying it unfairly characterizes the phenomenon as occurring only among black men and often inappropriately links the phenomenon with statistics about the increasing number of AIDS cases in the black community. As a result, many black women have gone on witch hunts to determine whether the men in their lives are secretly gay and people of other races have wrongly assumed that the phenomenon does not apply to them.

I highlighted that part of the sentence because my friend it seems to me is constantly trying to catch her male friends "being gay"! It's hilarious and sad all at the same time. Funny for the obvious reasons and sad because of instead of focusing on important issues such as AIDS we have instead demonized the black man and in turn created a "boogeyman" for black women without proper context. Holla back.

Sports Photo of the Day
Tracy McGrady should've been taken into custody after this! Shawn Bradley retired after the season. You will be sorely missed big guy....www.nba.com

I'm sure that by now all of you have heard of Latoiya Figueroa. So I....what? You haven't heard of her? You mean that name doesn't ring a bell like that of say Lacy Peterson or Natalee Holloway? You see Ms. Figueroa went missing in late July and like Mrs. Peterson she too was pregnant. I know what you're thinking : "King what's the point?" Well it took protests from all sorts of people to even get Ms. Figueroa's name on the national news. Why? Well she happens to be of African-American and Hispanic decent. Ahhh there's the rub! Finally the media such as Fox News' Greta van Susteren, known for her zealous pursuits of justice for missing women the past few years, buckled under the pressure and finally did a show or two about her. Well last week her long time boyfriend was arrested for her murder and now Greta and other news media types want to add Lataoyia's story to their personal lists of women found thanks in part to them. It makes me sick to my stomach. A big shout out to the people of Philadelphia who has let the world know that just because you're not a young white woman from Modesto Califonia or Utah or even Oklahoma that your life is just as valuable!

NBA Baller
How ironic is it that Kobe Bryant wanted to be the new and improved Michael Jordan and yet now he is the Anti-Jordan?! Hey Kobe when life hands you lemons squeeze lemon juice in your enemies eyes!

Pope Benedict looks like he might like little boys. There I said it.

Honestly, I would have been more surprised if Randy Moss said that he never smoked pot. Jerk.

Who saw the Kanye West interview last night on MTV? Is he the coolest Hip Hop star ever OR just gay? I haven't decided yet.

My First Post
Ok now I have a blog. I mean why shouldn't I have one everyone else does! I hope you jerks and losers will enjoy my random thoughts....Oh and hopefully you will click on a few ads so that I can buy a new house without a mortgage and pay off my debt consolidation!